Raising Elite Competitors

The Dark Side of Achievement-Driven Athletes w/ Nikki Kett, Life Coach for Athlete-Minded Women

November 08, 2022 Coach Bre Season 1 Episode 106
Raising Elite Competitors
The Dark Side of Achievement-Driven Athletes w/ Nikki Kett, Life Coach for Athlete-Minded Women
Show Notes

Do you know that some identity struggles go along with being an athlete-minded person? Being competitive and outcome-driven has always been a part of athlete culture. And achievement-driven female athletes have not been exempted from the dark side of this culture.

There's this constant pressure of hustling to be at the top. And it's not about enjoying the sport anymore, it becomes all about survival and being able to catch up or you'll get left behind.

As a sports mom, it'll be of great help to notice and identify these dark sides earlier and help our female athletes get out of this culture for them to continue enjoying their sport while having their own identity.

We're going to discuss all of that today together with Nikki Kett, life coach for athlete-minded women. Get ready to learn from her insights!

What are the three categories of struggles most athletes struggle with?

Here are the three categories of struggles our athletes face:

#1. Externalized validation

It's about athletes creating their identity based on external things and putting their self-worth based on it. External things could include validations based on the outcome of their performance. It's putting self-value based on wins and losses instead of who they are within or outside their sport.

#2. Self-Doubt

Self-doubt or just doubt in general is the belief of having to always work hard for good things to happen and not trusting that just putting in enough work would make good things come in time. It's the belief that failure is a failure, and not trusting that failures will give so much learning. It's doubting that there's a reason for everything that happens.

#3. Unhealthy Competition/Comparison

It's about athletes constantly trying to compare themselves to other people. They're putting pressure on themselves from an unhealthy place.

"I have to do this"
"I have to fix myself"


This kind of motivation is not healthy. They're motivated because of negative reasons instead of deciding to work out because their body feels good about it.

Culture impacts motivation.

For example, there's the "you got to push through, no excuses" culture, that even if your female athlete's body needs rest, she'd feel the pressure of missing out on her workout or training. That pressure gets bigger depending on how coaches could act in a certain way, or how athletes would internalize that pressure. There's a chance that it could influence their well-being outside of the sport as well. 

Realizing the importance of other things in life outside of sports is key to finding the right balance. It's about developing that identity outside of sports. Allow them to process their emotions and make their own decisions. People's thoughts and belief patterns are what bring them to the right balance.

By assisting your female athletes in understanding who they are outside of sport, you can help them avoid unhealthy patterns. Help them separate their self-worth from their successes and failures. Instead, focus on their values, the process, and how they work toward their goals.
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