Most female athletes exhibit some level of perfectionism. It’s not a question of if, it’s a question of how much.
As moms, we are aware of the difficulties that our daughters face. And it's difficult not to be concerned. I get a lot of questions from parents about how to help their athletes be less critical of themselves and focus on the positive rather than the negative.
Although perfectionism is a very normal thing that we see in athletes, sometimes this points to a deeper struggle. There are some underlying negative reasons why perfectionism pops up.
It’s important to recognize the signs of perfectionism in your daughter such as; setting unrealistic standards and procrastination. These signs point to a deeper emotional regulation struggle. Athletes have these underlying reasons behind perfectionism that could affect their goals and impact their self-worth. They only feel good when they’re winning and achieving.
One of a few strategies that you can be doing to help your athlete with perfectionism is to be aware of where you're placing your praise and your recognition when you're talking to your daughter. This will help build self-confidence and self-worth outside her sport, or the outcome of her games. More than just talking about normalizing imperfection, show them how you model imperfection in your life. Lastly, you can help her recognize that perfectionist voice inside of her and tame it.
It’ll be great if your daughter knows what to do and has the right skills to be able to manage her perfectionism. To better support your athlete’s needs you can provide opportunities for her to learn through mental game training. That's what we do inside the Elite Competitor Program. We have a whole training section on perfectionism, where they learn how it shows up for them in their lives, where it shows up most loudly, how they can recognize it, and how they can use the good parts and help shift some of those negative parts.
As a mom, your goal is not to get rid of perfectionism, but to help your athlete use it to her advantage.
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