How To Know If Your Daughter Is Ready For Mental Training. 3 Signs You Can't Ignore

Welcome back to the raising unstoppable girl athletes podcast. I am coach Bree and elite competitor coach for female athletes. And I am so excited that you're here. So whether you are just getting started on this sports journey with your daughter, or you've got lots of seasons under your belt or anywhere in between this podcast is for you. To know how to help your daughter start believing in herself as much as you do play to her potential and navigate the ups and downs. Of her sports journey Because you and I both know there are a lot of ups and downs in this whole sports journey for both her and you. So I am glad that you are here Now before we get into today's episode, all around how to know if your athlete daughter is ready for mental training, there's three signs that you really can't ignore. I first wanna give a shout out to one of the moms in our community who recently said something in our group that I wanna share with you all. Now, her daughter is going through our sig signature mental training program, the Elite Competitor Program, and what her mom posted in our private group. Pretty cool. It actually didn't have anything to do with her sport, which is why I wanna share it. So this mom's name is Dominique, and she said, my daughter is opening up two more people. She actually got left with a ton of extra credit work last week because her team and her ASB colleagues didn't fulfill their responsibilities as they were supposed to for senior night, spirit week, pep assemblies and homecoming. So typically she wouldn't ever say anything but secretly resent her teammates and classmates, but she didn't last. She spoke up respectfully and now can move. I can see her confidence growing, and so I mentioned this because this is one of the amazing benefits of athletes training their minds. It really goes beyond the sport. When they grow in their confidence and they start to understand what they want and what they don't want and what's acceptable to them and what's not, then they can start applying that to other areas of their life. So nice job to your daughter, Dominique. I am super proud of her. Super proud of you as well for creating the space for her to. All right, let's get into today's episode. We are talking about how to know if your daughter is ready for mental training. There are three key signs that I see athletes exhibiting that tell me, Hey, she's ready. She's ready to start training her mind like she's training her body. So first I wanna go over what is mental training. When I say training an athlete's mind, what does that mean? In short, it means that athletes are using their mind to leverage their performance.

And how we see this play out in your daughter's sport and in her athletics is basically, it's like a multiplication problem. There are three parts to your daughter's game, three main buckets. There's the physical training that goes into her games. This is like practicing, um, any physical part of her game that goes into how she trains physically. There's knowledge of the sport, so the tactics, understanding the sport, maybe it's, you know, watching film, getting that visual. And then there is the mental training in this bucket of mental training is where her confidence lives. It's where she's able to respond to pressure, come back from mistakes, manage nerves like these normal parts of an athlete's game, and all three of these buckets multiply each other to enhance one another. So, When her physical training improves and she starts getting better at her sport, we also see her knowledge improve, and her mental training improves too because she's becoming more confident through that competence in her sport. We also see when the mental training improves, when her confidence improves, she has routines to come back from mistakes, deal with nerves, pressure. comparison com, perfectionism, when all of that improves, her physical game also improves because it allows her to play to her potential, right? And not get bogged down by some of these things like mistakes or perfectionism. I mean, the list goes on and on. We also see the opposite is true as well, so they all enhance and multiply each other. But if any one of these things in a multiplication problem is at zero, so we don't put in the physical work, then obviously everything else is at a zero too, the whole thing. She will never reach her potential. She'll never reach that elite performance, whatever that looks like for her. Now, we know that to be true on the physical side, but it's also true on the mental side. If she doesn't have confidence in herself, she doesn't know how to navigate the normal parts of her sport, then at best she might be. Pretty good at her sport, but at worst, she might end up walking away from the sport that she loves. And that was my story. I was very physically talented when I was in high school, but I lacked confidence. I didn't know what to do with all this pressure that was coming at me for being a really good athlete. And I ended up quitting after my senior season now. I did get an opportunity to come back and play in college where I learned so much about the mental side of the game and how important it is, and that's a story for a different day. But it just goes to show that if she does not have the mental side of it, then her physical training will never pay off to its potential. And so that's what mental training is. It allows her to train her thoughts, her beliefs about herself, which then allow her to align her behaviors and her actions for what she wants in any given situation. It's empowering her to realize that she is in control of her reactions and her. Thoughts. It's declaring ahead of time through visualization and affirmation and situational planning. The type of athlete that she wants to be in the very normal situations that athletes find themselves in, right when they make mistakes or don't get the playing time they want. And it's the also the ability to sit with the discomfort that comes along with the. Failures of her sport because you know what? One of the main reasons why she's playing her sport, I'm sure for you as a mom, is to allow her to navigate through those disappointments. And when we have athletes who are connecting their self-worth to their performance, we see a lot of confidence issues. And so it's allowing athletes to move through that disappointment in a way that's really productive and allow her mind to work for her to

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her closer to her goals. So that is what mental training is, and that's what we. you know, that's why we have this podcast. That's why we have our programs so that we can equip athletes with these skills to allow their hard work to pay. Now let's go over the signs that you really can't ignore that your daughter is ready for this type of work. So sign number one. This is what we see. Sign number one is she's entering into the, what we call the prime age for mental training. And for us, after training hundreds and hundreds of athletes, we have found that the prime age to start this work is between 11 and 12 years. Now 11 and 12 all the way up through, you know, high school and college is really when athletes are ready to engage in this type of work. But I find that athletes are very successful when they start around the 11, 12, even like 13, because of a few things. It's around this age where they're starting to compete at higher levels. So we see athletes when they're getting into, you know, 11, 12, 13, they're starting to compete and they're starting to understand this concept if they haven't already of. You know, winning and losing and you know, we start to get that kind of, and they start to realize, oh, winning is more fun. Or people want me to win, and the pressure gets to be a little bit more. And they're starting to play on more competitive teams, and so they're starting to experience some of these things that come with competing at a higher level. Also, during this time, we see female athletes having some changes happening in their body, so they're having some. you know, physiological changes that are occurring and some physical changes that are occurring. And when we start to see some of these changes occurring in their body, they also find that something's become a little bit more difficult. They're like, man, what was easy for me before Now my body has changed a little bit and now it feels different. And then that kind of triggers some. Some, some negative thoughts, right? And If athletes don't know how to kind of filter where these thoughts are coming from or what to do with them, that's when we see them kind of going down these, this path of, you know, I don't, I don't like my body, I'm not good enough. You know, that's when some of these thoughts start to begin. And then also at this age, this is kind of when they start to compare themselves a little bit more to their teammates, to other, other. they also start to experience just some of the normal parts of being an athlete a little bit more. So this competition, some of the pressure, maybe some perfectionism is coming out at this time too, so, we see that athletes do really well when they start this type of work, when they enter that prime age of like 11, 12, and 13. And, we also see kind of, some tears of, of timeframes when it's really good for athletes to. Start this type of work. And so even younger than that age, like five to 10 years old. So if you have an athlete that's around that age, she can actually be gaining an awareness of mental training at this time. This is where she starts to gain an understanding of tools like breath work, goal setting, visualization, seeing herself perform the way she wants to perform. All of those things can be. Introduced to athletes at a really young age. In fact, my daughter is five and we talk about, you know, when she's feeling that feeling in her body that's really nervous, that nervous excitement, that she can use her breath to help control that feeling. So just that awareness that she's experiencing, that feeling that she has tools to use visualization. We also do that. We talk. you know, what type of athlete do you wanna be out there? What do you wanna have happen? Okay, let's see it in your mind. All of that can happen at a really young age. And then when she enters into like the 11, 12, 13, all the way up to, you know, 16, she should be starting a program that is more structured so that she can learn some of these tools because they're not taught. like don't expect that, you know, once she just starts playing at a higher level that she's going to learn some of these things. Most coaches have absolutely no idea how to teach them. I didn't when I first started coaching, and so don't rely on your daughter's coach. Don't rely on like time that she's just gonna pick it up. That really doesn't happen. She has to. Learn these skills in a way that works for her. And now once your daughter, if you have an older daughter, she starts to, you know, she's in the 1718 beyond college, she should have mental training as part of her routine. She should definitely be incorporating visualization, breath work. she should be able to recognize and shift her negative self-talk. all of those things should be a very normal part of her experience, especially if she's competing at a high level because we know the best athletes do these things. They train their mind just like they train their body. So if your daughter is on the older end, for sure, she needs to make sure, you know, especially if she has goals to compete at a higher. that she is incorporating mental training into her routine. So that is what we have there. Sign number one is she's entering into that prime Age where we find a lot of success when athletes start mental training. and then it kind of, depending on what your daughter, how old she is, you know, there's different things that you can be doing. So five to 10, just, you know, awareness and some light introduction to it. Although I will say we do have some eight year olds, nine year olds in the program, who are having a lot of six. And these are typically athletes who are, you know, we see them like they're gymnasts. they're in that competitive setting earlier. And so we have seen success, at the younger age. But once she gets 11, 12, 13, that is prime age to start this work. And if she's older than that, for sure, she needs to be doing this. Okay. Sign number two is she's starting to experience what I call the normal parts of athletics. Normal parts of athletics. But a lot of times when athletes face these things, they're caught off guard because they don't know how to handle them. So we're talking. Pressure comparison mistakes, like these are all normal parts of being an athlete, but they're not often talked about. And then athletes feel like they're the only ones that are experiencing them. So if you're athlete also, here's some other signs. If she can only focus on like the one to two things that she did wrong in a game, you know, she gets done with a competition or a game and she's like, Ugh, I did all these things wrong. And you're like, well, what about all these things you did right? And she can only focus on the things that she did wrong. Okay. That's a sign that her mental game needs. and she spirals after mistakes. You know, she makes like one or two mistakes and it turns into three, four, or five, and then she's like a different player out there. Okay? That's a sign that her mental game needs some work. If she beats herself up constantly, if nothing is ever good enough, okay. We see some perfectionism at play there. If she's hesitating, maybe she plays better in practice, then she plays in games. Okay. All of these are signs that her mental game is to blame in these situations. I don't wanna say to blame, it's just that she has not been trained yet on how to handle those very normal things. She might have all the physical skills, but if she cannot play in a game like she plays in practice, then that's problematic. And so we wanna make sure that our athletes are equipped to handle these normal. Of sport and a of athletics. And we also don't wanna wait until she gets there, like I was saying earlier, you know, sometimes we just expect, she'll learn it, she'll pick it up, maybe a coach will teach it. And that is just putting, you know, putting this situation in someone else's hands. And that's, not a surefire way for her to be able to navigate these normal parts of being an athlete. It is guaranteed that your athlete will face these. And so is she prepared to handle them with confidence. And we don't wanna just like wait and see that's, you know, the analogy I give that is like throwing my, my kids into the deep end of the pool and just like, oh, maybe they'll learn how to swim if I just like put'em in there. No, we give them swimming lessons and we train them so that they can handle that experience. It's the same thing here. She has to have the skills to be able to navigate those things. So that is sign number two. So sign number one, backing up is she's entering into the prime age, you know, 11, 12, 13, or. sign number two, she's starting to experience the normal parts of being an athlete, and maybe you're noticing things that like, she's not handling those things very well, you know, or she doesn't know how to handle some of these things, or you wanna help her prepare her for the future, knowing that she will face these things as an athlete. Sign number three. The last one we'll talk about today is that she has. Okay. If your daughter has goals, that is a blinking red sign, like, Hey, she wants to play the next level, then she needs to train her mental game because we know that athletes who play at levels, whether that's, you know, you wanna play at varsity, we wanna play in college or beyond, we know that those athletes train their minds just like they train their. And when we bring in guest speakers, you know, into our programs, and we've run in Olympic athletes, college athletes, and they're saying things like, yeah, I get really nervous before my races, you know, or sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough. And then they talk about how they have the mental skills to be able to navigate those things. And so we know the athletes that compete at these high. Train their mental game. And so if she has goals, if she's talked about like, I wanna make this next team, or I wanna be a, you know, even I just want to enjoy the game and I wanna be a great player, then she also needs to be training her mind. And again, don't just think when she gets to that next level it'll come because the opposite is true. When she gets to that next level, more will be required of her more pressure will. present, she will have more teammates who are potentially jealous and competing against each other for spots. The pressure will be higher because more will be expected of her on that team. And so we wanna prepare her for that situation, not just throw her in and hope that she will figure it out and then dent her confidence in the. And so the best time to learn these skills is not when she's struggling. Like of course they are helpful. We, they do help when athletes are really struggling and they're, you know, they're in the pit and they're like, I feel like I can't get myself out. Of course, these skills that we teach are absolutely helpful. However, they're even more helpful when they're preloaded and front loaded. And so that is what we want to equip our athlete daughters with is. You know, she feels confident going into any situation knowing that she has skills to be able to navigate those things, right? And so that's what you can help her do. And those are three, so three signs that you really can't ignore when it comes to your daughter's mental training and signs that she's ready for it. Number one, she's between the ages of 11 to 18. Okay? She's between those ages, then she is ready to go through a program that teaches step by step mental training. She's experiencing normal parts of being an athlete. That's sign number two. If she's experiencing some of these normal things, pressure, nerves, comparison, perfectionism, like all of those things, then she's ready for mental training. And three, she has goals, right? So if she has any sort of goal to play at a higher level, or you know, be a better athlete, then she needs to be training her mind. So if you're wondering, how do I get her started with all this, and we got us a couple resources for you. Of course, the podcast is filled with resources on how to help your daughter with her mental game. But we also have a free training for sports moms happening right now, all around how to strengthen your athlete daughter's mental game. So we go over what you can say to her. all of these things like when she's, you know, in the, the, the struggle and she's, you know, struggling, pregame or postgame and you know, you're struggling with what to. We go over all of that in the training. We also talk about our unstoppable athlete method in there. That's the method that we teach athletes to strengthen their mental game. And so to access that free training, go to train her game.com and you can sign up for the time and day that works for you. Also, the Elite Competitor program is open right now, so this is our signature mental training program that gives athletes the foundation of mental training that they need to navigate the normal parts of being an athlete. So this is a step by step program. Where they engage in trainings and live group settings as well, and we talk about how to make sure that she has that foundation of mental skills to be able to play at the level that she wants to play. And this program is also really cool because it's not just for athletes, it's also for moms. So we have a whole science program for moms, and dads really parents on how to support their athlete daughter. Through their athletic experience. So that includes trainings, live support as well. So that program is open right now. And actually when you attend the training, we offer a$400 discount on that program. But I'm gonna give you the link right now to just go to the Elite Competitor program. If you're like, yep, that's what we need. I'm gonna give you the link right now that has a discount on. So you're welcome. Okay. So if you go to join ecp.com, join ecp.com. You can sign up for the Elite Competitor program right now at$400 off. So we would love to see you and your athlete inside the program or on one of our trainings. All right, moms to wrap up signs Your daughters ready for mental training. So between the ages of 11 and 18, experiencing that those normal things of being an. and or she has goals. Let's get her the training that she needs.

I hope that was helpful moms. Now, before you go, I have a favor to ask of you if you enjoy. This episode or this podcast will you please rate and review it rating and reviewing helps us be able to get into the ears of as many families as possible and it also helps us bring on really amazing guests that help serve you so if you have a second to rate and review we would really appreciate it All right i am coach bri i will see you in the next episode of the raising unstoppable girl athletes podcast