Keys To Enjoying Your Kid's Sports Journey Without The Stress w/ Mom Lara + Gymnast Coco

Breanne: 0:00

Welcome back to the Raising Unstoppable Girl Athletes Podcast. I'm Coach Brie, an elite competitor coach for female athletes, and this podcast is for you if you are a sports mom, and whether you are just starting out on this whole sports mom journey and your daughter is young or just getting going, or maybe you have a lot of seasons under your belt and you're one of those experienced sports moms, this is a place for you to learn how to develop confidence in your daughter and get her to play to her potential while enjoying this sports journey yourself. And that is exactly what we're talking about in today's episode with Laura and Coco. So Laura is mom to gymnast Coco and I got to go behind the scenes a little bit with her on keys to helping her enjoy her daughter's sports journey without all of the stress, because you and I both know that it's not rainbows and butterflies and sunshines all of the time. There is stress involved and there are just things that we go through as sports moms that are hard. So we'll be talking to Laura about how she navigated that and some changes that she made in her approach to her journey with her daughter that have helped and made a world of difference. Now, before we get into it, I want to give a little shout out to a mom in our community. So the mom that I wanna give a little kudos to right now is named Courtney, and she recently posted in our private group for moms of athletes who were going through the elite competitor program, and she said this:"The breathing techniques taught in E C P are huge for my daughter on the golf course she has to manage all aspects of her game, including emotions. And remember, golfers don't have coaches out there. She used the different techniques in different situations and was steady throughout the entire round. That's a big win for us." And so I just want to give you a shout out, Courtney, that you are providing the space and the opportunity for your daughter to develop these skills for herself. She is learning tangible ways for her to manage her emotions and coach herself really. She plays a sport where her coach is not out there with her. She has to rely on herself in these tough situations and she's doing it So nice job to you both. Keep it going. All right. Let's get into this episode today with Laura and Coco. I know that you're going to enjoy it and you're going to resonate a lot with what Laura is talking about all around how to enjoy your kids' sports journey. All right. Welcome Laura and Coco to the Raising Unstoppable Girl Athletes Podcast. I'm excited you're both here. Hi. Excited to be here. Now Coco is a gymnast, Laura is her mom, and I'm gonna actually have both of you introduce yourself. So first I'm gonna start with Laura. Can you please just tell me. You know, you're, you're a sports mom, but can you kinda gimme some background? How old is your daughter? How long have you been in the sports mom game? And we'll get going with that.

Laura: 3:01

Okay. So Coco is my daughter and she's been competing, gosh, I think since she was seven years old. So it's been six years now. Probably the last five years have only been gymnastics. She did like the soccer and flag football for a hot second. And so I was not an athlete growing up. I was more of a bookworm. I tried sports, but just, you know, So having a a daughter who loves a sport so, so, so much is definitely new to me. So it's been, it's been fun to watch her grow in the sport and. Her love has grown as well. So that's been fun to watch.

Breanne: 3:44

So Great. I love it. I actually, some moms actually find it easier if they haven't played a sport. Cause it's like, I actually don't have any like coaching or critiquing to give you,

Laura: 3:57

it's funny how I know nothing about gymnastics and I still don't know anything. when I ask about, you know, a skill, I call it the wrong thing. Like, oh, how was the flippy thing? Mom! So it, it was a whole new world to me. And my husband, he didn't do gymnastics, so yeah, we were along for the ride.

Breanne: 4:14

Yeah. That's great. And Coco, this is a really special episode because Coco is here with us. So Coco, I'd like you to introduce yourself. Can you tell me how old you are and how you got into gymnastics?

Coco: 4:25

Well I started when I was like five or six.

Laura: 4:28

So a kind of funny offshoot of that is she started asking to do gymnastics when she was, oh gosh, probably like two or three And I kept putting other sports in front of her. Like, Hey, why'd you try jujitsu? Hey, why'd you try soccer? And it was always, okay, mommy, I tried it, but now can I please do gymnastics? Mm-hmm. So she, she doesn't remember that, but she was Gung ho from the start.

Breanne: 4:57

Yeah. That's awesome. That's funny. That's my, my daughter is right now, she's four. Yeah, so she's just started gymnastics this week, and it was all, all the other sports. I'm like, come on, you know, just try not that gymnastics is, is, there's nothing wrong with it. But I was like, well what about all these other things? And she. Loves it. So I'm I'm curious what it is for you, Coco, for my daughter, just in the first exposure she loves she loved, they put'em on the on the, gosh, what do you I'm like, blanking bars. Bar? Yeah, she was on bars, right? Like doing like, straddle things on the bars and she was like, I love those bars. I kept to flip around. So what was it for you, Coco, in the beginning were, were you, what were you drawn to?

Coco: 5:40

I've always like really liked bars and I'm just like feeling of just being able to flip in the air.

Breanne: 5:46

Yeah, it's pretty amazing to watch. I've seen videos of you and like, wow, that's really awesome. Cool. So yeah, you started when you were like, you know, basically as soon as you could and you've been doing it all of these years, you know, with some other sports sprinkled in and so you joined the program? I'm trying to think. I was trying to remember before it's been, how long has it been, when did you guys join?

Laura: 6:08

It's actually probably been almost a year, maybe like 10, 11 months.

Breanne: 6:14

So about a year. So even if you, if you can kind of put yourself back a year ago, both of you and Laura, I'll start with you. You know, what, what did you see in yourself that made you think like, Hey, this is, you know, a direction that that, that we wanna go to help support Coco?

Laura: 6:33

So my husband is a very, very calm individual. And when he watches our kids play sports, he enjoys it. He takes pleasure in seeing them reap the benefits of their hard work and doesn't get nervous and he just, he can just watch and enjoy. Yeah, and there was me sitting next to him, a nervous wreck. And everything's completely out of my control. So I don't know why I was always so stressed out, but I, I remember looking at him going, I want that. I wanna just be calm and mm-hmm. be able to enjoy watching. My son plays baseball, which is intense sport to watch too, but just wanting to watch my kids do what they love to do. Be there to support and enjoy it because it's amazing to watch them do their thing and I wanted to appreciate it and enjoy it more.

Breanne: 7:22

Yeah. I love that you brought that up because we talk a lot about how, you know, it's our, it's our, our kids' journey through all of it. But we also, we also have our own journey. It's not our, our kids anymore, but it's our own like sports mom, parent journey through it all. And we wanna be able to enjoy it a little bit. And so it's hard. you know, I hear you. It's like, I, you're so invested in it because it's your daughter out there, So I, I get that. You wanna Yeah. You wanna have that calm presence. So Coco, did you notice that in your mom at all?

Coco: 7:52

No.

Breanne: 7:53

No, she kept it under wraps? Yeah.

Laura: 7:56

It would just be my Apple watch going off telling me that my heart rate was a little high.

Breanne: 8:01

Yeah. You're like, you're doing a workout right now, watching your daughter.

Laura: 8:04

Completely. I could stay calm, I think and but internally was not calm.

Breanne: 8:10

Yeah. Yeah. I get that. And Coco, what about you? So you're, I mean, you compete at a high level and you, you have been keep competing for a long time and as you know, Athletes that come through the elite competitor program and work on their mental game are there because they wanna take their game to the next level. So what for you, you know, take me back to maybe what was going on before the program. What were you seeing in yourself? What were you experiencing that you're like, Hey, this would actually benefit me as an athlete to add this part to my, to my game?

Coco: 8:41

So like for a lot of the time whenever I made mistakes, I would like really down on myself. Mm-hmm. and like, I would try and always be perfect, but it like really didn't help. Right.

Breanne: 8:53

Yeah. And that's hard when you would make a mistake, which happens, right? Like it happens in every single sport, every single, everything. What was the typical response when you would make that mistake?

Coco: 9:04

I would get really mad at myself and think like, it's not good enough.and not right

Breanne: 9:14

Yeah. Which is so common, right? And it's, it's sad because it's like now you're kind of living in this state of failure pretty much all the time because you're, you're guaranteed to make a mistake, you're guaranteed to mess up in training. You're guaranteed to make mistakes in competition. And so, yeah, that, that makes a lot of sense. And so I am curious when, so Laura, you kind of stumbled upon it. How did you present this opportunity to Coco?

Laura: 9:38

I think I just presented it as, Hey, look, you spend a lot of time in the gym practicing and working really hard like let's work on all aspects of your sport including the mental side of it and She, she was like, okay.

Breanne: 9:57

Sure. That's awesome. So Coco, it was an easy sell, is that what I'm hearing?

Laura: 10:02

Pretty much, yeah, because I, I think she, she agreed that the mental side was important, but maybe At that age, wasn't really aware of how to train the mental side of it other than just telling yourself, don't be nervous. Don't be nervous, don't be nervous, which doesn't really ever work and so, yeah, I think she, she's like, okay, mom. Why not? I'll try it.

Breanne: 10:26

Yeah, that's awesome and very wise on your part, Coco, because to realize that at that age, that hey, this is as as important as a physical game and depending on what your goals are and what you want, we've gotta like be able to navigate the very normal parts of being a gymnast, which are handling mistakes, handling when things don't go well, pressure like, you know how, you know how tense it gets out there in the competition world. Yeah. So Coco, you guys you joined and what did you start to notice in yourself, Coco, as you started to learn some of these skills? Was anything changing for you?

Coco: 11:03

I started not like looking for perfection and everything and like just trying to go for it more, and I just believing in myself.

Breanne: 11:11

Mm-hmm. Yeah, that is a big one. Now Coco, you come to the calls very regularly, which is so awesome. I love seeing your name in there and your, you participate. It's so great, and that is one thing that I have noticed that you've really been working on is taking risks and going for things and trusting yourself, and so has that. Do you have any examples of when that has, when you've taken a risk and it's paid off, and do you have examples of the opposite? Maybe you've taken a risk and you're like, oh, well, made a mistake. Do you have any stories there?

Coco: 11:45

When I was trying to do my release on bars by myself, I completely missed the bar and I landed on my back.

Breanne: 11:53

How'd you recover from that?

Coco: 11:54

I did more with like spots and now like I was able to make it at my meet now.

Breanne: 12:00

That's awesome. I've heard, you know, Laura, Laura you share, share some of your stories about how, you know, some of these misses, that would be something that potentially would make an athlete just crumble, you know, and you would just be out for the rest of practice. The rest of competition, it would be not good news. And so what did you see in Coco when she did miss it those times?

Laura: 12:27

I'm looking at this competition season. There's, you know, been some, some hits and misses and I think what stood out to me most was that she was so, so stoked for going for it. Even if it wasn't perfect, or even if it wasn't, you know, even if it was a fall, she's like, I went for it. And stopped maybe focusing on the ultimate outcome of the routines. And just, just being really happy that she was giving it her all, and putting it all out there and not wondering like, well, you know, maybe if I had gone for it, it would've been different. Like, no, I went for it and I learned something from it and moving on.

Breanne: 13:11

Wow. Yeah, that is, that is huge. It's huge poker. You should be proud of yourself for that, because again, like I said, most athletes don't do that. Most athletes are like beating themselves up thinking they have to be perfect and then they're not gonna take any risks later because, of what could happen. So really awesome. You're increasing what we call your capacity to be able to do those things. So, yeah. And Coco, I'm curious for you too as you're going, you know, you went through the whole 10 weeks and now you're in Thrive. What, what for you was your favorite part of the program and going through?

Coco: 13:41

I think like how to come back from mistakes was really helpful for me.

Breanne: 13:47

Yeah, that's, that is big. And Laura, for you, what was your favorite part of the whole, whole experience?

Laura: 13:54

I think learning to stay in my lane. Knowing and understanding that it's her sport and I'm here to support her and, you know, watch her grow in it. But ultimately nothing I say or coach her with is gonna be helpful. So just so just to back off and let her do her thing. It's a relief for me to know that it is out of my control because it's not my sport So that was, that was huge to just have that weight taken off my shoulders of, she can do it. She's awesome. She's got it.

Breanne: 14:26

It is freeing. Yes. And I hear that a lot from the parents that come through. They're like, oh, wow, I don't have to like, do all of these things and be the coach and, you know, be her and make sure that she remembers all of these things. And it's just, it's like a weight that's lifted.

Laura: 14:42

And I love the part where you talk about what you say to them right before they go out to competition? Where it's just like, love you, have fun! That's it. And not worrying about, oh, did I remember to tell her this and that? No. She, she knows what she needs to do and she's got it. And I can literally just say, Hey, love you, have fun!

Breanne: 15:01

Yeah. And the, the great part about that is that Coco, you know, you're working on your mindset on your own. And so it's also relieving to know she does have it and she, not only is she putting in the physical training, she's putting in the mental training, she is, you know, she's learning how to be aware of unproductive self-talk. She knows how to come back from mistakes. And so you don't have to rely on these little like reminders right before and hoping she just like gets'em right? So, yeah. Yeah. That's really great. Now we do lean into the mom daughter relationship in the program, as you both know. So I am curious as well, how has your relationship changed with each other throughout this process? And Laura, I'll, I'll start with you.

Laura: 15:43

I think not nagging her or nitpicking has definitely probably given her more space and allowed me to have like the fun side of the sport, and it's, I think it's less stressful for her when I pick her up from practice now. And so when she wants to share, it's great cuz I, I hear the stories, but trying to learn how to be respectful. I mean, I'm learning still working for progress, but when I if I asked how was Gym? And she says, fine. Leaving it at that and I think she prefers that. Then we you know, hone in well, what was fine, what was good? What was, you know, tell me more, tell me more. So I think in learning to respect her boundaries a little better that's helpful.

Breanne: 16:31

Yeah, totally. Yeah. Coco, what about from your perspective? How do you see your relationship as maybe changed with your mom in this whole area?

Coco: 16:39

I feel like it's less stressful knowing that like, she's not going to know every single detail and that like, she just wants me to have fun and do what I love and she doesn't really care about how.

Breanne: 16:52

That's awesome. Honestly, that is probably the best thing that an athlete can feel. I mean, like that in a nutshell. Have fun, my mom loves me. It doesn't really matter because that is like, You know, I've heard just from so many athletes that have this unbelievable amount of pressure on them, and a lot of times it comes from parents unknowingly. It is never like I am going to go put pressure on my daughter so that she performs. No, it's because we are coming from this like you know, really productive, we think, intentional place. And then ends up kind of going the opposite way. And so, you know, if we could just capture what Copa Coco said right there and have every athlete be able to play with that freedom of like, I can just go out and do my thing and have fun and that doesn't change anything with my parents. That changes the game for, for athletes. So that's really cool. I wanna talk logistics now, So logistically, how did you two fit? How did you two fit this in? The training every week. Coco, how about you? I know you're, I know that you train a lot, right? Like Sundays are pretty much only your free day. So how did you prioritize this?

Coco: 18:01

So just like whenever I had like, at least like a little bit of free time, like I would just like work on it or like watch the videos until like I had to go somewhere.

Laura: 18:10

Yeah. Finding every little pocket of time that she had to to work on it.

Breanne: 18:16

That's awesome. And what about for you? Laura?

Laura: 18:19

I kind of the same thing, like when I had downtime in between pickups or drop offs or working you know, lunch break, just trying to take every moment that I had to, to work on it. And like, sometimes it was nice long chunks, and sometimes it was literally five minutes here, 10 minutes there. But that's life, you know?

Breanne: 18:40

Yeah. Totally. And also, you know, the really cool part about this is that you did go through the program about a year ago, and we've actually, not that I'm thinking about this, we've updated the program since you went through the first time. So have you guys been through again since it's been updated?

Laura: 18:54

I don't think so. I love the, the mom group. I think that's my favorite part of the program was the support in the community for the moms too, and that everyone's honest, and we're not perfect, and when we thought we were being helpful and finding out, oh, maybe it wasn't so much, but that's not the end of the world. We can learn and grow and get better. And love the podcasts. So kind of keeping up with on that side of it. But, but yeah, I don't think we've gone back through the program.

Breanne: 19:23

I'm wondering, you know, after the initial time you went through and now you are still like, what is still you know, standing out, you know, standing out, what is still sticking with you after, you know, after your initial time? Coco, how about you?

Coco: 19:41

Knowing my hype number and like how to get there so I can compete my best.

Breanne: 19:45

Yeah. That's huge. And then I get to hear from you though on like every other week calls too. And Coco, you're, I mean, you are still, you're in it like you are very much prioritizing this part of part of your game, whether you realize it or not. Like the things that you're saying in a group and how you're continuing to take risks and come back from mistakes. You're really doing a good job of, of keeping this a priority and making sure that your mental game is in check. So good job. Yeah. That's awesome. Okay, well this has been great. I love hearing perspective from from both of you. I wanna leave time though for anything else, anything else you wanna add that we haven't already covered that you might wanna mention?

Laura: 20:26

I'm just so grateful for the environment that you guys have created because sports are so intense and so time consuming for the athlete and the whole family to take some of that pressure off and stress and just be able to enjoy it from, you know, the parent's perspective and the constant. Education and learning, like on the way to her first competition, we listened to that podcast. It was about nerves and reframing them. And that was, that was incredible to hear because it was such a great perspective of you know, taking your situation and understanding how it could work for you versus letting it work against you. Yeah. So I just love the constant learning that there's always something new to learn and that it's a judgment- free zone.

Breanne: 21:18

Yeah, absolutely, totally is. I I love that you brought that up too, because yeah, we're always in pursuit of what's best for our kids in the best environment and the best support that we can provide. And the really cool part is that we get multiple opportunities to, to repair and feel like, oh, you know, maybe that wasn't the best way to go about it. So, yeah. Coco, what about for you? Anything else to add before we wrap up? That's all right if you don't if you don't have anything. But I will add that I'm super proud of you both and really grateful to have both of you in the community, and I'm proud of you, Coco, for coming on here because I know that this is a little, a little bit of a risk too. So you're practicing like you're practicing this in all areas of your life, not just in gymnastics, but doing things that are lit outside your comfort zone to help with your growth. So nice job! Okay, well I get to actually see you Coco in a little bit because we have our call. So thank you again both for being on, and I will talk with you both soon. Thank you!