Raising Elite Competitors

How To Improve Communication With Your Athlete Daughter So She Can Play With Confidence With ECP Mom Lauren

March 21, 2023 Coach Bre Season 2 Episode 128
Raising Elite Competitors
How To Improve Communication With Your Athlete Daughter So She Can Play With Confidence With ECP Mom Lauren
Show Notes Transcript

Do you want to improve communication with your athlete daughter?

We’re catching up with Lauren, a mom who has been walking alongside her daughter through the Elite Competitor Program (ECP). We previously talked to Lauren in Episode 120 right before her and her daughter, Lyla, were about to get started. At the time this episode was recorded, they were 4 weeks into the program.

Lauren shares how the program is going, what they’ve both learned so far, and her hopes for their growth as they continue the program together.

Lauren and Lyla’s Background
Lyla is a highly driven, athletic 11-year-old basketball player and cheerleader. As Lyla’s mom, Lauren wants to do what she can to support Lyla and not hinder her throughout her sports journey. Lyla faces a mental block when it comes to tumbling, and she’s had trouble throwing skills that she’s been able to throw previously. 

What Lauren and Lyla Are Learning So Far
Lauren has learned that mental training is just as much about herself as it is about Lyla. She shares that she didn’t know what to say most of the time, and she wanted to offer her support, but didn’t know how.

When Lauren asked Lyla, “how can I best support you?” Lyla said, “you always have the right thing to say, you just don’t always say it at the right time.” This moment was a turning point for them. Since starting the program, their communication has opened up.

What Lauren Is Seeing In Lyla
Now that Lauren lets Lyla be the driver of their conversations, she’s seen Lyla become much more even-keeled. When they discuss things that previously may have caused Lyla to shut down or have a bigger reaction, she’s now much more willing to talk it out. Lauren feels like she has a guidebook on how to have better conversations with Lyla.

How Lyla Is Liking The Program
On Wednesday evenings, you can find Lauren and Lyla posted up at their kitchen table doing their ECP work. Lauren shares that not only is this good quality time for them, but Lyla has expressed that the program work has really made her think.

How Did Lauren Get Lyla On Board
Lyla first responded with, “oh, another person to try to fix me.” And of course, this broke Lauren’s heart! But Lauren was able to reassure her that ECP was a program they would do together, and she would get to meet and talk to other girls her age who are going through the same things.

Lauren could tell that Lyla needed to sit on it for a bit. Lauren would present it to her here and there when the time was right, but she didn't push or pressure Lyla into it. Finally, Lyla realized on her own that going through ECP would be helpful.

What Lauren Would Say To Moms Who Are On The Fence
Lauren wants moms to know that if they’re looking for ways to support their athlete daughters and open the lines of communication, explore ECP. The things they’re learning apply to what they’re going through now, and also to the years ahead.

Lauren and Lyla, we're so grateful to have you both in the ECP community. We're so proud of you for all the hard work you’ve put in so far, and for the ways you continue to show up!

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Helpful Links:

  • Come hang out with Lauren on social @runawayjursit and follow her and Lyla's journey through The Elite Competitor Program!
  • Visit our podcast website for more on this episode.
  • Join our FREE Training for Sports Moms - How to Strengthen Your Athlete Daughter’s Mental Game so She Believes in Herself as Much as You Do
Yeti Stereo Microphone & FaceTime HD Camera:

Welcome back to another episode of the raising unstoppable girl athletes podcast. I'm coach spree. And elite competitor coach for female athletes. And I'm excited that you're here. Whether you are just getting started on this sports journey with your daughter, or you're super experienced, have lots of seasons under your belt or somewhere in between. This episode, and this podcast is for you to help you know, how to build confidence in your athlete daughter, to get her, to play to her potential. And also so that you can enjoy this sports journey along the way. I am excited about today's episode. We are talking all about how to improve communication with your athlete daughter so that she can play with confidence, with a mom in our program named Lauren. Now you might recognize Lauren because she was actually recently on our podcast episode 120. If you want to go back and listen to that, that would be a good prerequisite to this episode. But Lauren entered into the program. With her daughter, Laila and Laila is a competitive cheerleader. She also plays basketball. And when I interviewed her back in episode one 20, she was just starting the program. And I am happy to report that we got to sit down and interview Lauren again to hear an update on their progress and what's going on with them. You know, how is Lyla working through the program? How is Lauren doing in the program? And she gets to uncover for us some really cool things that they're experiencing in their communication with each other. And I think it's going to be a really helpful kind of peek behind the curtains of what is possible when this communication increases and improves with your athlete daughter. So we're diving all into that with Lauren and how she did it and kind of what's going on. Before we get into that. I want to give a shout out to a mom in our community. So Victoria, you're getting a shout out today. Victoria posted this in our group. Just last week about her daughter's progress and the program, she said, my girl had districts for swim this past weekend and cut almost eight seconds off of her. 200 free. Pretty cool. After she swam it, she ran over to me and said, I did the breathing from ECP right before. It totally worked. Taming her anxiety before competitions has been such a struggle for her. So I think having the tools and using them is huge progress. So congratulations, first of all, Victoria, congratulations for providing the opportunity for your daughter to be able to actually have a tool in this situation to be able to use, and then congrats and kudos to your daughter for using that tool in that moment. And it's pretty cool that it paid off for her in that way. All right, moms let's get into today's episode. I cannot wait for you to hear. Here from Lauren. At the time of this recording, she's four weeks into the elite competitor program and she's got some awesome discoveries and some nuggets that she has uncovered and you're going to learn a lot.

Breanne:

Welcome Lauren. We are going to be chatting today about Lauren's experience and Lila's experience in the elite competitor program. So it's really cool is that this is kind of like a realtime, well is a realtime case study of Lauren and Lila's experience. So they joined the program. Four weeks ago, and so we just brought Lauren on the podcast. She was on, you know, right before she started ecp that episode just dropped this week about like, Hey, you know, we're about to jump in and these are kind of some of the things that are guiding our decision to take the next step into mental. And kind of what you hoped for in the program and all of these things, and now you're half or almost halfway through. So let's dig into it. Lauren, will you first give us a little background for those of us that haven't listened to the podcast yet or don't even really know what I'm talking about, What sports does Lila play? How old is she? All of that Good thing.

Lauren:

So Lila is 11 and she is an all-star cheerleader competitive cheer and a basketball player. She did two years of kind of novice cheer and then this is her third year of All Star cheer. And then she has played basketball since she was probably seven, so about five years there too.

Breanne:

Yeah. it was so funny when you were like, yeah, we have a cheer competition and then we have a basketball game. So, They're, they are a little bit of different, I mean, they require different hair and makeup, right? Yes. So she, on the basketball court, like in her, in her cheer, get up.

Lauren:

Yes. So, and the seasons happened to coincide quite a bit. So we were always. Juggling that she's actually missing a game, a basketball game this weekend because we're gonna be in Dallas for a cheer competition. The league that we play, and her dad's actually the basketball coach. So he's staying back so he can coach the team and then she and I are going to Dallas and we have definitely. Run from one event to the other. She went, you know, like wiping off makeup in the car on the way to basketball. Her coach, her cheer coach was joking that she was gonna scare the other, her competitors cuz she was gonna have black under her eyes and look

Breanne:

really intense. it's a tactic, it's a strategy. Cool. Well, and also catch us up, I mean, Listeners can go, I mean, you can go find the podcast, but just catch us up. Like what was kind of the main driving factor for you starting the elite competitor program in the first place?

Lauren:

Basketball, she's, she's doing pretty well. It's interesting though, as I'm going through the. Program how I am identifying some places where you know, I could better support her that have just their basketball team's really good. So they haven't faced a lot of challenges and I, as they've had some I've started to, to recognize now. But really it was the cheer side of things that got us to where we are. She has been tumbling since she could walk. I was actually thinking about a weekend that we were, we were in Dallas at. At a party. And it was an honor of this this wonderful family and the patriarch of the family has raised all these very successful daughters. And he's probably in his seventies at this point and I have never met him. Lila was maybe four. This is just to give you kind of a background on, on her personality that was very identifiable early on. But out on the dance floor, you know, the kids are on their fancy dresses and and they're out there dancing and she's on the side. Trying to get her cartwheel. Like she had been working on it and working on it and just hadn't quite got it yet. And she spent two hours over there just doing her cartwheel. I mean, she was having fun and mm-hmm. Anyway, this gentleman came up to me after the party and said this is gonna sound crazy, but I have raised five very successful daughters and I just want you to know I watched her daughter this evening and she is going to be something someday because I watched that determination that she had. To do her little cartwheel. And so that's really, I mean, it's just kind of intensified, I guess from there she does, she has a, a really strong drive and I wanna make sure that I can support that and not hinder it. You know, we. are all pretty competitive in my family and sometimes as parents my husband and I are very much like fix-it people, which I've, I've identified and, and trying to not overstep and, and try to fix her when she's, you know, working on herself. So that was kind of some backstory stuff. But she has a mental tumble block right now. And she has stopped throwing some skills that she's had for. I don't know, four years for a long time. And so navigating that process and kind of the highs and lows she will. Show up to every lesson in every practice and, and try to muscle our way through it and throw more reps at it. And, and some days it's successful and some days it's not. And some days it's tears, and some days it's happy tears. But I just, you know, we kind of got to the point where I was like, okay, this is, this is something that you need to work on in your head, like your body can. Right. What's the next step to, to pull that out? And, and I, and we had some coaches that have suggested, you know, kind of just peppered some mental training along the way and, and said, it's in your head and visualized and mm-hmm. we've heard these words, but no one has actually shown her how to do it. And that's what we were looking.

Breanne:

Mm-hmm. Very cool. Yeah. I mean, picking up on some things, I think mental blocks are a very common thing, especially with gymnasts, competitive cheerleaders, but also. with many athletes who are, they identify with like this, this feeling that they can do it in practice, but then for some reason in a competition like that skill doesn't happen. And we see that in all sports. So I love that you are bringing that up and bringing to light a very common thing. Like this is very normal. And that you're sup you wanna support her through it. It's not like, I hear what you're saying. You're a fixer. I'm a fixer. I think we all are as moms and it's not like, okay, let's just, let's fix this. And in your, the episode, I thought it was so great when you were like, you know, we've, I tried to incentivize her and tell her like, if you, you know, you could get this, I mean get this skill, you can have this and we're just talking, not gonna talk about it. We're gonna wrap it out So it's like just trying to force these things just, you know, haven't really worked in the past. So, Okay, so now you inter you started the program about four weeks, four weeks in, let's first start with what are you finding the most beneficial so far, and what you are learning? Let's start with maybe you, your, your perspective.

Lauren:

Yeah. And this is just as much about me or more so than it is her. I. try to be really thoughtful in how I communicate this because mm-hmm. she is not less than, she's not broken. I'm just trying to help her find tools to be better than and to overcome. And I know a lot of these tools that she's learning go far beyond the gym. So. I think that my, what I was looking for the most was how to best support her and really how to communicate because our communication I just didn't know what to say sometimes, most of the time and. I, as I mentioned in our podcast, you know, I try to not ride the highs and lows with her. Mm-hmm. But it's hard to to not do that because I'm invested in her happiness. And I tell her all the time, you know, you are not this thing. This is something you do. It's not who you are. However, when it's so important and it means so much to your kid, and your kid means so much to you, it's really hard to to not ride those highs and. And so I really, as much as I want her to have those tools to, to have this resiliency and to, to be able to accept the things that she can control and navigate those and let the things she can't control go I am finding that my ability to communicate and. Say the right thing at the right time is what I'm, I'm identifying the most. And that was another thing. You know, it's, it's opened the communication for us more two way I think. And I asked her, you know, how, how can I best support you? You know, what do I say that makes you feel. Positive. What do I say that maybe you don't like? And she told me, and I thought this was really insightful, especially for an 11 year old, but she was like, you always have the right thing to say. You just don't always say it at the right time. Mm-hmm. And so I have, you know, just started to practice like stepping back and I let her come to me and, and start the conversation so I can kind of gauge where she is instead of. Starting it and shaping it, how I see things, since it's not me, the one that's doing this. So definitely my communication and it's I'm noticing it with my son too. He is Theater kid. He is an artist. Like he is super talented in the arts. So we don't have this as much in athletics with him, but I've had some of these conversations with him kind of on the social things. He's 14 mm-hmm. And so, you know, just interacting with his peers and I've, I've, I've started to take some of these tools that I'm using with my daughter and I'm noticing that I can kind of shape my conversations with him too. And we're both just a lot more receptive to where each other's coming.

Breanne:

Mm-hmm. Yeah. That's awesome. And most, most know this, but some don't. Like in this program, kind of what sets apart this program from many others? We bring in the parent and bring in the mom because we see how important it is for that communication and opening up that. And so, you know, as as Lila's doing her work, you are too, which is really powerful for her to see. And that's where we see a lot of growth happening too, is when athletes are seeing like, okay, my mom's invested in this too, or my dad, or you know, my parent, they're seeking out like, what, how can I best support you? And they're doing work on their communication and how they're approaching me. And that's kind of where the magic happens. That it's not like, Hey, Lila. You've got a mental block and you need this to fix it. No, like that's, that's not what it is. And in fact, we just wanna channel Lila's determination and those really good features that she has that have allowed her to be very successful to continue to allow that without, you know, some of the perfectionism that could, you know, hold her back. So I love that. Okay, how about, how about Lila? What are you seeing in her?

Lauren:

I think that my ability to approach our conversations in a different way and letting her control the conversations or lead the conversations is really helping. With her. Like she's just a lot more even keel when we discuss these things. There's not as strong of an emotional reaction. Mm-hmm. And an example of this so like I had mentioned, this is actually in basketball. She has their, their team is just. A really, really strong team and really hadn't faced much adversity this season. And last weekend they were missing a couple of key players and it was a really physical game. It was not called very closely. And it, it got a little bit ugly. And they ended up losing and you know, my husband's the coach and so, you know, he, several of the players and Lila included really didn't have the best. Attitude afterwards. Yeah. I mean, it was, it was a tough loss and so he did his coaching, you know, he gathered'em around after and and talked to them and then we all came home and he was like, okay, I, I did the co I'm in the coach lane. You've been working on these things, like why don't you take the parent lane? She's heard enough from me and so we kind of just divide and conquer. And she had gone to her room and was just kind of decompressing a little bit and I didn't, didn't push it. There were definitely some things that needed to be talked about. But I did not push the conversation. And so not too long but a little while later she came out and I said, Hey, you know, you wanna talk a little bit about the game this afternoon? And she was like, yeah. And I said so, you know, I, that was a tough one, but you know, there, there are some great things. What do you think you did really well. And and she told me, and, and I said, well, you know what, what might be better next time? And, and a lot of the things that she had identified were you know, related to things that weren't necessarily in her control. And so I said, you know, yeah, that's tough when you know, you can't control what the refs are calling and it gets really physical like that, you know, it does go both. But you know, how, how do you think that, that you can take some of that and, and make it productive for next game? And then we just talked about how, you know, she could maybe channel that into building up her teammates instead of kind of getting frustrated at the other team and kind of tearing that down. And we had a very mature conversation just like this. Whereas I think before it would've been, you know, the car ride home and, you know, it would've been like, Oh, that was, you know, bad sportsmanship or I can't believe that you did this, or, you know, like it would've been a lot more in the, that approach. And then she would've gotten defensive and emotional. And so those are the types of things when I talk about, you know, the communication, it's like, I feel like I just have this. Kind of guidebook on how to have that conversation. And I have a few things in my pocket now that if I don't know what to say, it is still something that will then allow her to say something to keep the conversation going. Yeah. So I mean that's, that's a couple of big things that I've noticed about her is just her ability to be more receptive and even keel in the conversations.

Breanne:

Yeah. That's awesome. And she hasn't even got to, you know, the, her snap back routine and her pre-competition routine, post-competition stuff, like, there is so much that she actually hasn't even done. So as you were talking, I was like, this is really great because she's like headed in the right direction. And and then how is she just like, personally liking the program? Like, What, you know, what is, what is your feedback so far?

Lauren:

Yeah, so I was telling you before we, we got on this week, so we have set aside Wednesdays and that's our day. And she is like a planner and she has her little calendar. She writes out each week on her dry erase board. And so she's got her different activities and she'll have like, you know, if there's a free day, so Wednesdays, she always has ecp. And so we just carve out that, you know, 30, 45 minutes. And sit across the table from each other. And I do mine and she does hers, and I actually got a little bit ahead, and so I still though sit down during that time and I've actually been reviewing what I did in the previous weeks. Anyway, so this last Wednesday, sorry, I got sidetracked. It's okay. She was in the middle of her lesson and she just, she looked at me, she goes, She's good. And I said, what do you mean? And I just kind of chuckled and she, and I said, good, good, how? And she said, she has really good questions. It makes me think I was like, I love it. Well, I love it. I mean, you know, thinking and mental training that's.

Breanne:

Go ahead. Exactly. That's the thing.

Lauren:

Yeah, but she she's really enjoying it and I think just looks forward to something else that she and I can do together. I mean, obviously we're, we're really close and so We both love any opportunity to have something that's, that's ours that we do together. So she's, she's really enjoying it and I love to sit across the table from her and, you know, we both have our headphones on and everything, but I'll see her close her eyes and do her breathing and just see her work on herself and. These are things that I just wish I would've learned earlier in life. I feel like I could have navigated law school so much better my career, you know, like so many things.

Breanne:

Mm-hmm. Yeah, exactly. And yeah, so Lila's a little bit, I mean, she's on the younger end of athletes like doing this work we say between like 10 and 12 is kind of that sweet spot. And so how awesome that she is getting exposed to this concept of, you know, she can actually decide how she thinks about things and how she responds to things, and that she doesn't have to be controlled by all these outward things that are happening. And even, you know, that Ga, that bad game was a great example of like, okay. She had a response, which was great. Like, we don't want them to not be emotional or angry or, you know, they, she's, she's put a lot of work in that she's determined, but then she was able to come back and process it in a really productive way, which actually will help her further performance. So like, just being exposed to that at the age that she is, like, these are, these are skills that are just gonna keep growing with her. So that's pretty awesome.

Lauren:

Absolutely, and I, you know, I tell her like, we have emotional responses because we care and we work hard for these things, and that's okay. If you don't have emotion, then you don't have skin in the game. Like you wanna have that passion. It's just channeling the things you can control, channeling it into the things that are productive and you can't control, and trying to drown out the things you can't control.

Breanne:

Very cool. Cool. All right. Well, Lauren, this has been a good, a good check-in so far. I do wanna ask just a couple more questions. You've talked a lot about, you know, how this has impacted your relationship. It's opened up communication and just the intentionality of like, you're both working on something, you're both working on something together for a common goal, purpose. and you've also kind of mentioned like how you're fitting this in, you know, one of the common things that we. Hear from moms is like, how do we fit this in? So you guys are finding a way to that to do that. And you mentioned this before in our private group, but I want other people to hear it. How did you present this to Lila? Like how did, how'd you get her on board to do it?

Lauren:

Very delicately. At first, she likes for things to be her own idea. And so I. Suggested it and kind of just on a average night over the holiday break and just said, Hey I found this coach in this program that, you know, might be something that we look at, and we do it together. And it just kind of helps your mental. In, in your sports and in your tumbling. But I do it right alongside you. And she, you know, without really any, any context since it was just kind of an average evening, she just kind of looked at me like, O okay. And and I could see her processing it. But she glazed over a little bit, and I can't remember exactly what she said, but something like, oh, another person to try to fix me. And that broke my heart into a million pieces. And so I said, well, hey, there are a, So many girls your age going through this exact same thing, and that's why this exists. You're not in the salon and this is just a chance to connect with some of those girls and then with a coach that can help. And so I showed her a video from you so she could see how warm and inviting it is. And then I showed her a video from one or two other athletes. That have gone through the program so that she could see that you know, they're not broken. She's not broken. Yeah. You know, we're all in this together. And she just, she just said, well, I'll think about it. And I was like, yeah, no pressure. You know, let's just see how things go. And then I left it alone and we didn't talk about it. And I think at one point along the way something came up and I said, oh, this is the kind of thing that, that the ACP works with and, you know, just something to think about. And, you know, she just kind of, okay. And then I didn't push it, like I just left it at that, I just kind of like sprinkled it in. Mm-hmm. And then we had, she had a tumbling lesson and like we've had some peaks and valleys with, with her mental block and she. Be all there sometimes, and then not sometimes, so. Mm-hmm. Anyway, she had a, a rough lesson and and was feeling pretty down. And so we were having the, the conversation on the car, the infamous car ride home. Yep. Where, you know, all the magic happens. Mm-hmm. And I just, I said to her, and I, I had said this in the podcast too, you, but I said well, you know, do you still love, do you still love this sport? And she. Yeah, absolutely. And I said, well, is it worth all of your hard work and your effort in continuing to show up? And she said, yes. And I said, well, would you wanna consider spending some of that time, you know, practicing on the mental side of things with E C P and see if, you know, that isn't something that can help too? And she said, I'm ready to, I'm ready to try anything. I'm ready. Yeah, absolutely. I, I have to change, I have to do something because, you know, I'm stuck you know, she, she came on board. Own without me pushing. It was more just me presenting it in the right ways, at the right times. And I, I just, I'm not gonna force her. I've learned if I've learned anything along the way, as I am letting her kind of, you know, dictate and guide where this goes. She wants to keep showing up and so I keep making sure that, that, that is available to her. And then when she was ready to try this, I am here for that as.

Breanne:

Yeah. Yeah, that's great. We always talk about shaping the environment and providing the opportunities, and so that's exactly what you did. You're like, here's the opportunity. And then also you're gonna take care of yourself to shape this environment for her to do really well, which is great. And some moms, we hear this that a lot, like connecting it to their larger goals is huge, you know? So you said you still love it, you still want to dedicate time to this. You, you. To be successful. So that's a goal of yours. And then also in those valleys can be a really powerful time too because it's like, you know, this is tough. What are, what have you tried? What are you trying, you know, is that working? Hey, this is, this is something that helps. Exactly. With that and the podcast that Lauren was talking about we'll link that in the comments. But we have a podcast where we interviewed past like athletes that have been through and these are like high level athletes. These are, you know, cuz you've mentioned a few times, it's not. you know, Lila's broken or any of your athletes are broken. These are very common experiences that all athletes go through, but for some reason in their heads, which I can see why they think they're the only ones and they think like something's wrong with them. And so we interview athletes who are competing on like the national level, who have been through the program, you know, high school, college athletes, middle school athletes who, you know, they're like, yeah, this is, this has helped me. And so it's not just. you know, something's wrong with you and this is what you need. This is only what the athletes who are just really struggling, like who are gonna use. So I love that you, it sounds like you have excellent timing, and you also utilize the resources that we have for athletes to help with that too. so very cool. Okay, Lauren, last question. So right now we have an enrollment special happening and so a lot of moms are kind of on the fence. They're like, okay, would this also work for my daughter and for me? So what would you tell other moms who are on that fence right now?

Lauren:

I would say that if you are looking for ways to support your kid and. open those lines of communication, it's absolutely worth worth your time and exploring it. We're barely halfway through and we have Lila and I have a really, really strong relationship. But I'm actually looking forward to how this is gonna help me navigate her in her more teenage years. As well. I'm not even there yet, so I can only imagine. The moms that are dealing with a little bit older daughters and, and some of the things that go along with that. And so I am feeling a lot more confident going into that period of time too. She's such a great kid and I hope we don't have those, you know, trip typical teenage girl. Yeah. Things, but I mean, my ability to. Meaningful conversations with them. My confidence in doing that has, has really started to solidify. And obviously I can talk I'm here talking to you all but it's just feeling like I know what to say. And as moms we're always questioning, you know, am I saying the right thing? Am I doing the right thing? And this is just giving me me confidence that, you know, I can be. She and my son, like what my kids need me to be. Mm-hmm. when they need me to be. It. It, it just, it helps with the timing and those conversations too. And as an athlete myself I'm finding some really great things that are helping me. And so, yeah the stress of that has decreased significantly. As far as, you know, those, those tough conversations and those car rides home and yeah. What that looks.

Breanne:

Yeah. Oh, I love hearing that. And you know, as you were saying that it's like this parenting journey. There's really no, there's no playbook. And so we're hoping that this is one of the tools that you're using, you know, and that I'm using as we navigate, you know, Being the support that we need to be. So, yeah.

Lauren:

Yes. I have one more comment because this just occurred to me, but I have been saying for a few months now that there, when you have a baby and you, like, there are so many books, they're like, what? You know what to expect when you're expecting and here's the new baby and here's what you do with it. And here's like a complete timeline and schedule of all the things. No. Like I, I've been saying like nobody has a playbook for what to do when your kids get to this age. Yeah. I actually kinda feel like I do now, and I, that just occurred to me as you were saying that. But yeah, it's, I, I didn't realize that that's kind of what I was looking for, but I, I do kind of feel like I have a playbook now.

Breanne:

Yeah. Oh, awesome. That's so great. Thanks Lauren for sharing that and just for sharing your experience. So grateful that you're allowing us to kind of like peek behind the scenes and see you know, as you're kind of going through it real time and, and what you and Lila are experiencing. So, Thank you. I'm really grateful for that and I hope it's very helpful to our community too, who are following along. So well go have fun this weekend. Tell Lila to crush it. I'll text her too and send her some good vibes and I can't wait to hear how it goes.

Lauren:

All right. Thank you so much.

Breanne:

Yeah. See you later. And so, Lauren's gonna pop, hop off, but I'm actually gonna stay on and answer some questions about the Elite Predator Program. So Lauren, I'll see you later. Thank you and everyone else you can stick around Awesome. That was great. Okay, so we are going, I'm gonna be answering some q and a for about 10 minutes. I'm actually going live in our private group for sports moms. This is the private group that we have for moms of athletes who are going through the program. We do live trainings there every other week. And this week's training topic as requested by the moms is what to do when other people are jealous of your daughter. You know, have you been in that situation where like maybe your daughter's end up having some success and other teammates are like jealous of her and then they start leaving her out? Whoa. Okay, so we're gonna be talking about that. So I have about 10 minutes to answer some questions. So some common questions about the elite competitor program. If you do have questions though, drop'em in the comments. If I don't see them, I will circle back sometimes on the, like where we're streaming, I can't see all the comments, but if you have any other questions, drop'em in. So some common questions. Who is the elite competitor program for? And so the, so ECP is for athletes. Okay. Female athletes. And moms are kind of the, you know, we lean into the mom daughter relationship. However, all of these concepts apply to all athletes. So we get a lot of questions about like, does this apply to male athletes? Yes, absolutely it does. In our program, we do occasionally used female pronouns, and then we also have. Photos of female athletes. So as long as that's okay, then yes, these concepts apply to male athletes as well and also to dads. We love it when dads come through the program too, and I think it's really beneficial when moms and dads are actually, or partners are on the same page when it comes to how to approach your athlete daughter before, during, and after games. It's really, really great. So it's you know, we don't wanna see this, you know, one parent is going through and really like invested in how to support, and then the other parent. You know, isn't and is on the sidelines coaching and doing all these detrimental things or, and all of that. Now sometimes you can't control that. But if you do have the option, I totally suggest that you go through the parent side of the program with your partner. But 10 to 12 is kind of that sweet spot where we suggest starting a program like this. We are staying younger and younger. I was just on a call yesterday with a mom of a nine year old who just joined the program and the nine year old has, is competing at a national level in soccer. And, you know, I'm seeing that more and more the younger, the athlete in, you know, if they're competing in sports like gymnastics or like high level national level sports or they're in a position like a goalie or a pitcher, they are experiencing more pressure younger. and potentially seeing some of these things that, you know, are normal for all athletes, but they're experiencing them at a younger age. And so 10 to 12 or even like, I think we have as young as 9, 8, 9 in the program all the way up through college. So we have college athletes as well, going through all the skills are applicable to all ages and all sports. The optional calls, live calls that I'll get into, those are separated by age because we do go into more specific things by age. And the only thing that I'd recommend if your daughter is younger, I recommend kind of what Lauren was saying is to go through the program more with her. You know, I would just make sure that she's tracking you know, so you're kind of like sitting down side by side and just, you know, maybe even going through the athlete part yourself, just to see what she is learning and help her track. And when we see, you know, athletes that come through young, they're getting exposed to these things in these concepts early. They might not be able to apply every single piece of the program yet, but that's okay. She has lifetime access to the program. So do you, and so this actually grows with her throughout her sport. So when she gets into high school now she can, you know, go back and we actually recommend doing trainings one, two, and three every sport season because it helps reorient herself with her goals for that season. And so it's really great for her to be exposed early to this concept that she gets to. Her thoughts. She gets to choose how she responds to things. She gets to understand her relationship with pressure and how to come back from mistakes. Like all of these things, there's absolutely no doubt that your daughter, at some point in her career, she hasn't already is going to make a mistake and feel bad about herself. It's going to wonder what people are thinking of her. It's potentially gonna put some extra pressure on herself because she wants to perform and not let other people down. She's potentially gonna be in extreme pressure situations where there's a lot of expectations. How is she going to navigate that? And these skills that we teach in the program are skills to help her do exactly that. And these are skills just like physical skills that can be taught in practice. They're not things that are just like picked up along the way or like hoping that your coach teaches them because most coaches aren't trained in the mental side of the game. Okay. I'll tell you that right now. So if you're like, hoping your coach teaches how to come back from mistakes and deal with pressure, like, you know, you might be hoping for a long time, you know, and in, in the process, your daughter is getting less and less confident because she doesn't know how to handle that. Okay? So that is, yeah. Who's the competitor program for athletes? Come one. Come on, Okay. And moms and, and parents, because we, the whole, there's, there's half of the program for athletes, half is for the parent. Okay. What if I have more than one daughter? More than one athlete. Wonderful. So you're, this license is good for your entire household. So you just email us the names the emails, phone number if she wants, text reminders of your other athletes, and we will get them. So, okay, this common one, how much time commitment is the elite Confederate program? So the trainings is a 10 week program. However, you have lifetime access to that content, so you can definitely go beyond those 10 weeks if you want. Each training is between 30 to 40 minutes, and so we recommend 30 to 40 minutes per week for those 10 weeks. So you just heard Lauren say how they do it. They carve out Wednesdays as their ECP time and they just put it on the calendar and that's what they do. A little bit of time working on this. Saves a lot of time. right? Because how much time have you already spent, like in the car ride home trying to convince her she's good enough? You know, trying to help her see like, hey, everyone makes mistakes. And you know, she's just spiraling her like that. You know, she's in a bad mood basically the whole night after a game. If she doesn't play well, like we already are wasting a ton of time doing that. So spending a little ti bit of time front loading and preloading these skills actually saves time later. Okay. Okay. How much support will my athlete have as she goes through the program? The trainings, the 30 to 30 to 40 minute trainings are on demand, so she's doing those on her own, on her own time. These are interactive trainings. I'm a former teacher, and so we make them fun, engaging. You heard Lauren say, like Lila saying, oh, she's, you know, she's good, asking good questions. It also in includes all the visualization that happens in there, all of the activities, so it's not just. Sitting and listening for 40 minutes, that would be boring. Okay. But she does her 30 to 40 minute training at some point during her week, and then she also applies things from that training to her practice and to her competition. So there's always things that she's applying into her sport. And then as she's doing that, she gets support in the portal. So she does all of her work in the portal that's accessed through an app or through desktop or through her phone, wherever she has like datat or wifi connection. She can access it, and so she actually messages with me in the portal. She actually also texts, she has text support from me throughout the whole program as well. We also have live calls for athletes two times a month. These are optional, optional live support that she can come to to get her questions answered, to see that she's not alone. She can also email me if she has questions ahead of time. She can ask, she can ask questions in the chat on that call as well. And those calls are just really great to see like, hey, other people have questions that I do too. Other people are like also going through this stuff. You know, she doesn't have to speak up on the calls if she doesn't want to. We provide opportunities for athletes to do that, but we also provide opportunities for them to just listen if they wanna just listen. So that is the support that she's getting as she is going through. She gets a. A lot of support as she is learning these skills as well. Okay, this is a great question I get from time to time. My daughter's not competing right now. Is it best to do the program now or later? So if she's like injured or she's like in between seasons, I always say the best time to do mental training was yesterday. the next best time is now. So there is really no wrong time to do this. If she is like in a in between season, it's great to kind of get a foundation going and then when she hits her season and it starts, then I recommend actually doing it over. I, I hate to say do over, like it's bad, like revisit. So that she is now actively applying these skills to her sport. She's injured. This is a great time to do, you know, during injury because she is losing potentially her focus. A lot of her ID is kind of wrapped up in her sport and if she's not competing, it's a great way to have her, like focus in on something, especially the mental side of the game as she's sidelined. How do I present this to my daughter or my athlete? Great question. So you kind of heard how Lauren went about it. It depends on your daughter, it depends on your relationship, depends on where she's at, what she's experiencing. But what, what we say, we actually have some resources for this that we can link in here. So we have a couple podcast episodes that are specifically for athletes. One is me talking about the program and then another one is hearing from other athletes who have been through it so she can kind of see, oh, other athletes who are competing at a high level and you know my age are going through this as well and having lots of success. And so we have those two resources for athletes that you can have her listen to. We also have a page for athletes. It's actually@elitecompetitor.com slash daughter, and so she can look at the page, she can read all about the program. There's a video from me on there. And so that's kind of how you can do that. I also, I have a podcast episode as well that talks about like ways that you can help present it to her. So connecting it to her goals. If she has goals to like make a higher team to play at a, a higher level or even just to like have fun in her sport, like she wants to have fun then that is a great way to connect this program to that. Like, Hey, you want to do this? What are you doing to get there? Oh, you're putting in a lot of physical training. Great. Did you know that the best athletes also. Work on their mental training and give her examples of athletes that do that. Find a athlete from her sport that is talking about, you know, how she's dealing with pressure, how she is, you know, sometimes doesn't feel good enough and you know how the mental, how she visualizes. So you can find examples from every single sport you can find. A college or an Olympic level athlete who's talking about the importance of the mental game, staying focused, visualizing like all of those things that actually help with her physical game. Those are other ways. There's also a lot of different ways that not a lot, there's kind of three main ways that people go through the program. So first is kind of how Lauren and Lila are doing it. They're doing kind of at the same time. So you're doing your mom's side, she's doing her athlete side. You're kind of doing it side by side. Another way, usually we see this with the older athletes is they're kind of doing it on their own, right? They're just. We kind of let them go, moms go do their stuff. There's opportunities for you to connect throughout the program, but it's kind of more separate. We see that with our college athletes and our high school athletes mostly. And then there's also like, if you wanna jump in mom and you're like, I want support, you're, you know, I want the playbook on how to know what to say and do in these moments, then you jump in knowing that you have lifetime access to the program and so does your daughter. And she can jump in whenever she's ready. So that's another way, another thing to kind of think about if you're like, I don't wanna wait any longer to know how to support her. So, okay. Remind me of bonuses. So we do the, during this enrollment special that we have going around on right now, the door's closed today for that. So at 8:00 PM Pacific, we're closing the doors on this enrollment special that we're having right now. So there's a lot wrapped up in it. I'm gonna try and remember all the things that we have. So, first of all, there's a$400 discount on the program until 8:00 PM tonight. So that's number one. If you wanna save some money, That's what you would wanna jump on. We also have a bonus of the two live group calls with athletes. So those two live calls two times a month are a bonus to the program as well. Again, they're optional. They're just a great way to connect with the other athletes and just get their questions answered. You also have a bonus, okay? I'm talking to you mom of joining our sports moms in Inner Circle. So we have a private. Of moms of athletes who are going through the program, and this is a really great group where you get support, you get your questions answered. I do biweekly trainings in there. Again, I was just saying that our training I'm doing in about 15 minutes is about what to do when people are jealous of your daughter and trying to like, exclude her from. Things. Okay. So we do that, we do a monthly Zoom call together as well. It's kind of alternates between a q and a with me and a guest speaker. So there's just a ton of support in there. Right now it's on Facebook. That's where our group is held. However, everything is also in your portal, so you don't have to have Facebook in order to be a part of that group. The other bonus that we have for you is the powerful pep talk. So this is your personalized game plan on what to do and say before, during, and after games. So this is kind of what Lauren was talking about. This tells you exactly what you can say and do during this really fragile part of her competition, and also gives you a personalized game plan on how to support her. Now the other kind of cool bonuses that we have right now are a nutrition workshop. Okay? So we have Lindsay Cortez, she is a registered sports dietician that works with high school and college athletes, actually, middle school too, like just female athletes on how to best optimize their nutrition for their performance. So we have a bonus, there's a workshop when you join inside your portal for that. We also have a recruiting workshop bonus as well. So Tanya Sims is our recruiter. Team and she is awesome. She did a training for athletes on what you need to and, and parents like what you need to be doing now if your daughter wants to be recruited. So she goes over like first steps, social media, like highlight film, all of those things. And then if that was not enough, we are giving everybody a ticket to our summer mindset Bootcamp happen. Bootcamp in the summer where we have Olympic athletes come in. Other coaches, experts in the field come in and do a little bootcamp for athletes before they go into their fall season. So you get a free ticket to that as well as part of this like enrollment special that's happening and doors closed. at 8:00 PM tonight for that. Okay. Woo. Any other questions that are coming through? Again, I can't see total, like all of okay, good. Christina's kind of in there answering some of those questions that I can see. All right. Cost and payment plans. So we have, right now with the$400 discount, it's one payment 9 97 if you choose that. We also have a three pay plan for 3 59, and then we also have a six pay plan. That is 180 3 months. So all of those are going down, you know with the discount applied. So depending on what you want, what works for you, we have those options as well. Is there a guarantee? We do have a 14 day money back guarantee. So if you jump in, do the work, you and your daughter do it, and you're like, eh, no, no, you know, not for us. Let us know and we will refund you for sure. Okay. All right. What if you can't make it live to one of the calls? Totally fine. So they're recorded. They're to her portal, to your portal. So you can access them afterwards. You can also always text or email me questions before those calls happen, and I'll answer them on live and then you can watch the call later. Athletes can watch the call later. So no problem if you can't make it live to those optional live calls. Okay. I think that's kinda all I see. So last question. When it's a deadline, how do I sign up? So the deadline for the enrollment special is 8:00 PM tonight. So go ahead and go to join dot elite competitor.com to access that pricing discount and all those bonuses and we can't wait to see you inside. We are welcoming. Well, actually my board, I'm kind of, some of it's falling down, but this is I mean, we've got a awesome group of athletes and moms who are already joining during this winter enrollment special. So, Cop on in there with us. And of course if you have any other questions, you know where to find us email us at hello Christina or at hello elite competitor.com and we'll get your questions answered. All right, everyone, have a good rest of your Friday. I will see you soon.