Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome back to the Raising Elite Competitors podcast. I'm Coach Brie, a mental performance coach for girl athletes, and I'm so excited that you're here. Whether you are just getting going on your sports journey or maybe you have a lot of seasons under your belt, this podcast is for you, to help you know how to raise a confident, mentally strong girl athlete. That's exactly what we do here at the Elite Competitor through our podcast, through our signature program, the Elite Mental Game, and through our business strategy coaching for female business owners who are also making impacts in young girls' and women's lives. This episode is a special one. We recently had some moms who are going through or have been through our signature mental training program for girl athletes called the Elite Mental Game, and they came into our community and were just sharing tips and strategies, what was working real time with their athletes when it came to building their confidence. We're talking pregame and the car ride, postgame, that car ride home as well, and everything in between and the things that their athletes are facing in their sport. I know for me it's just helpful to hear from people who are in a similar stage that I am in and experiencing similar things, so you get the special treat of hearing what these moms are going through when it comes to their sports journeys. I'm sure you're going to resonate a lot with them and then pick up some nuggets that you can apply to your athlete's journey as well. And before we get into the episode, I do want to give a shout out to a mom who is inside our community right now, who just posted something pretty cool. I'm going to share it all with you. So her name's Jennifer. She said at a lacrosse summer league game this week, my daughter sat in the car so nervous. We did breathing and visualization together. I gave her affirmations to trust her training. She was doing preparatory snapback routine before she went out there, went right into the game and the first play. She received a pass and went for goal which, by the way, she's never this aggressive and scored. This has been a game changer for her to have tools she can control. She was so chatty after the game. I love it All right, super excited.

Speaker 1: 1:54

I got goosebumps reading that because, first of all, I know a lot of you have athletes who are similar boats where they're getting super nervous before they compete. Maybe they're getting irritable. First of all, that's normal. It's very normal for athletes to be nervous before they compete, and we all know that. Right. But the issue is that not all athletes actually have tools to handle that nervousness, so they then internalize that as bad, like it's bad for me to feel nervous. I shouldn't be feeling this, but I don't know what to do with it. So the fact that both Jennifer and her daughter had tools to navigate this with breathing visualization had their affirmations. Daughter went in with her snapback routine, which is our failure recovery method that we teach athletes so that they feel confident going into competitions, and they were able to not only use them but transfer them to the field. So pretty awesome. I love to hear this and can't wait to hear how things continue to go in the program. Jennifer, all right, I'm excited for you to hear from these moms.

Speaker 1: 2:47

One last thing I'll leave you with is right now, if you're listening to this at the time of recording, we are in this back to school time. People are going back to their sports, getting back into school, and so we are running a back to school special on the elite mental game. So if you go to elite competitorcom forward slash EMG, there's a $400 off pricing discount on the program right now for this back to school season that we're in so you can prepare your athlete with the skills that she needs to be mentally strong and confident going into her season. So I will leave the link for that inside the show notes, but eliteCompetitorcom forward slash EMG is where you can find that discounted link. All right, enjoy the episode.

Speaker 1: 3:29

We have some special guests with us, so we've got Grace, kristen, miranda and Angela. They are sports moms who are inside the Elite Mental Game, so they are either just joined, are going through. They're here to share their perspective. We are hearing their tips from how they're doing it, what's working, what's not working, and also we have some opportunity to ask some questions of myself and of the sports moms. I'm going to have us hear from sports moms just introducing yourself name, how many athletes you have and what sports they play and their age. Okay, so let's see Kristen, you're first on my screen. Hello.

Speaker 3: 4:11

I'm Kristen. I am the mom of a 13-year-old volleyball player, Leela.

Speaker 1: 4:16

Grace, you're next.

Speaker 4: 4:18

Hi everyone. I'm a mom of four and I have three daughters who all play volleyball, and my youngest one is five years old and he wants to do everything right now. So I have an eighth grader, fifth grader and a third grader right now, and then my preschooler.

Speaker 1: 4:38

Yeah, eighth grade, fifth grade Okay, yes, you got like the whole age range. Yes, I love it. Okay, Miranda.

Speaker 2: 4:46

Hey, I'm Miranda. I have a 12 year old daughter in volleyball. I do have a two year old because we're crazy and we started over, but and she's already just like Grace, she's watching her big sister and so she's out there wanting to do all the things. So I'm like, oh man, thank goodness I found this because we're going to have round two with her too, but currently a 12 year old, first year of middle school.

Speaker 1: 5:05

Okay, awesome. Yeah, you're going to be like all set up for the two-year-old. That's great. Angela, can you hear me? Yeah, you sound good Okay.

Speaker 5: 5:14

It looks like we have a lot of volleyball moms, because I'm a volleyball daughter and she's 14 and she did track this second year, so that kind of blended the two sports. But I wish I would have had this for my other two kids, but she's getting all of it, so I'm just loving it.

Speaker 1: 5:30

Yeah, oh, that's great. Yeah, that must. That was a coincidence, oh, yeah, so Kristen also has a 16 year old son who's boxer and low key, working on the program too. Oh, can you tell us about that? How is that going? So we get that question a lot Like can boys join all that?

Speaker 3: 5:45

It's mostly through osmosis, like Lila and I will be talking about stuff, or we'll sit down with him Like here's the thing we're working on right now and here's how it relates to you, and so, like we started with him with a snapback and he has like seconds right when you're boxing the snapback if you've made a mistake, and so he's taking the things that we're doing step-by-step and then trying to apply it to what he's been doing.

Speaker 1: 6:05

Yeah, oh, that's great. Yeah, we always say like the strategies apply to boys the experience of the program. As you can see, we're geared towards girl athletes, so we have like girl athlete imagery throughout. So some boys are like, is this for girls? And get turned off by it. But all the visualizations have gender neutral pronouns and so he's, it wouldn't be like, imagine that she's in the boxes so we can relate with it. So it kind of just depends on the kid. But yeah, that's good to know that he's doing it. Okay, first question is basically like what interested you in joining the elite mental game in the first place? What were you seeing with your daughter? What was going on? Yeah, that kind of sparked the interest in this. So, kristen, while I have you, I'll have you start.

Speaker 3: 6:48

So I went from watching my daughter love her sport to watching her really literally curl inward when she would make a mistake. I could see it happening and her whole back would curl and tears in the car. And we moved to a new club and she made the ones team, and so then the pressure was really high and had conversations with her coach about like she needs to work on her attitude was the word that was used a lot and I agreed and I felt like I didn't know how to help her and so I asked the trainer can you work on mental toughness? And asked different private coaches do you do any work with attitude? And I was using the wrong language and, frankly, most people don't know how to do this work.

Speaker 3: 7:29

And so I train adults for a living and was like there's got to be people, there's got to be community online. I'm going to find help for this. Found Coach Bree, started listening to the podcast and sat in on a session and felt like if I was going to invest everything that we're investing time and money into making her a better athlete, I needed to invest the same in her mental health, because I couldn't do another five to eight years of this the way we were going and it started working for us overnight.

Speaker 1: 7:55

Yeah, oh my gosh, I can't wait to hear, like, the other side of that. But that's amazing. I like that you brought up this is a common thing that a lot of athletes and moms are in, that they're like, yeah, I'm hearing feedback from the coach that she needs to work on her, whether that's attitude, her mindset, her confidence. I like that you were like. They don't really know the word and we're trying to figure out too. What do people call this mental toughness? And, as a mom, you're like, can you teach her that? And most, yeah, like, is that part of your job?

Speaker 3: 8:21

And, yes, coaches wear a ton of hats, but really most coaches are not trained in how to do that and they specialize in, like, the physical part of the game and so expecting them to do it, it's just, it's like almost frustrating, because you're like eh, and I will add for you that the way that I finally started thinking about it was they're telling my daughter to bake a pie, but she doesn't know how to bake a pie and I'm looking at her and saying just bake a pie, and we need to go to the bakery. We need to find the people who understand and to break these steps down. It's not enough just to say fix your attitude. That doesn't ever work and it doesn't work in this place.

Speaker 1: 8:53

Yeah, oh yeah, that's a great, that's a perfect analogy. And just be confident, fix your attitude. It just doesn't, doesn't work. Yeah, she doesn't have the ingredients to put that together. Yeah, grace, how about you?

Speaker 4: 9:03

So what interested me in EMG was one just because my two oldest daughters play on competitive club volleyball teams as well. But my husband and I coach middle school volleyball at our children's school, and so we can just see so many of our athletes our team just start breaking down after mistakes and it was like, no matter how many times I said, shake off your mistakes, you're going to be just fine, focus on the next play, get down and ready. I could see at this age we teach fifth through eighth graders. At this age, just like the other mom said, they don't have the tools to know how to shake off a mistake and how to bounce back. So then my husband and I realized, oh, we don't know the step-by-step instructions on how to do it. So that's when we started researching more sports psychology and what mental toughness was. And then how do we bring this back, not only to our team but to our own daughters as well?

Speaker 1: 10:02

Yeah, I love that. Okay, there's another term to sports psychology. Are you using it with your team? Have you tried some of these things with your team?

Speaker 4: 10:08

yet we found you after our season ended. But during this season we had what we called mental toughness Mondays, because at the start of this season we actually brought in one of our local college basketball coaches to talk to us about a couple of things, and so he the two topics he had addressed with our program was self-talk and using smart goals, and so basically, on Mondays, we would take 30 minutes of our practice and try to implement what he taught us. But we saw that he had just a huge list of different topics that we were like, oh, we need to know this and this and this. But we loved how you had a total program that was just so beautifully packaged, that was just nicely put together for girls and moms. Yeah, that's great.

Speaker 1: 10:59

Yeah for sure. It's like there's no need to go out and like piece all these things together, like we just provide a roadmap that's proven for athletes or moms as well. We got the support. So, yeah, for sure. Okay, miranda, how about you? What were you noticing and what interests you?

Speaker 2: 11:14

So I have played volleyball my whole life and have coached, but at a higher level, and so my kiddo has followed me through like she was in my belly when I was on the court coaching volleyball and then a week after she came out she's, you know, had a little volleyball in her hand and so, honestly, I never really thought about it. And then we hit middle school. Similar to Kristen's story of all of a sudden I start seeing this kiddo that loves life, loves very social, but definitely has always wanted to please other people, and it's already very hard on herself when she gets. You know, as a parent I've noticed I have to make sure that when something comes up with chores or at home or whatever, because she's human right, she's learning that I come to her with a lot of grace and a lot of empathy and the way we talk about things right, because when she feels you're disappointed in her, it really hits her hard and a lot of the self-talk that she does from a very young age is just really hard on herself, and so I've learned that as a parent. But I didn't really think about it in sports If that kind of sounds funny, I just was like whatever, this is more of an outlet for her right To just get out and be social and play and enjoy the sport, and so fast forward when we get to middle school.

Speaker 2: 12:28

This year she has the same coach that she had last year, but she is very hard and Micah, my kiddo, is really pretty good at volleyball and this year she started to look a little bit different on the court second guess herself, little stutter steps, things like that, and she'd look instantly at her coach. Coach would give feedback. That wasn't the best maybe some eye rolling, turning her back or actually yelling at her on the court. Yeah, as a mom, I'm like what are you doing to my baby, right? But I was like she's not hurting her, it's just it kind of hurts her spirit a little bit. So I had to sit back and say how am I going to handle this? And then it all came to a head. She was at a tournament and got yelled at, embarrassed on the court, instantly, came running to me afterwards and just was bawling I don't want to play anymore which was big, and my husband and I were like, what are we going to do? And thankfully our phones were listening to us and I was scrolling, I believe on Instagram or something, and I saw the program on there and I'm like, what's this?

Speaker 2: 13:29

Instantly signed up for the call was bawling through the whole thing, happy tears, because I'm like, thank goodness, this is exactly what I need as a parent, this is what I need as a coach, but this is what my kiddo needs. I didn't really realize that confidence needed to be coached and taught. I thought maybe she just doesn't have that, maybe we need to shift into something else, and so it was such a godsend, and so ever since then, I showed it to Micah and she's like I think that's what we need. Mom, I said, yeah, we do. So we signed up and we've been hitting it hard ever since.

Speaker 1: 14:01

Yeah, oh, that made me tear up. So that's such a good story and I resonate with that too. I know we have some coaches as well. Like same thing. My daughter was in the ball cart when she was three months old, and I know when she gets to the age and she's getting there Also, I don't think I can be the one to train her in this. Like I'm going to be looking for. You know, we've got all the things. It's just it comes a little different. As a parent, you're like I know what you have been coaching and all of this, and then for some reason, it's like oh wait, it's a little different when it's your own kid. So, yeah, Great story, okay, angela.

Speaker 5: 14:36

I'd love to hear from you. What was your experience? Pretty similar frustrated. We had so many frustrated conversations, like after a game, and this year was especially disappointing. I was just like Googling, like how do I talk to my daughter? Because I felt like I was messing her up by not saying the right thing and so, like Miranda, my phone was listening and you popped up I think it was on Instagram and so I started doing some. I started jumping in on some of the calls and started listening to things. I'm like I've got to try this and it was amazing because it really taught me how to navigate disappointment, because I think I was the parent maybe the helicopter parent where I wanted to go in and try to like really oversee everything. It was more of my approach. And then sometimes I felt like I was that I think you called it the lawnmower parent, and so now I'm really trying to be that river guy that you talked about, like when she needs it, and my approach is right. I've seen some really good evidence of this working.

Speaker 5: 15:37

Now, this was probably the most disappointing season we ever had, Literally. I think we lost and we're on a high level team, but we moved into the premier category for the first time and honestly, I don't think we were prepared and our girls, mentally, were not prepared and so we lost every game. I literally think we and I was about to lose my mind because I could see so much disappointment on her face. And it was so timely because I was able to have a conversation with her but to help build the confidence as we were experiencing disappointment after disappointment and thankfully that season is closed and we're moving on to like school season with volleyball, and so I told Claire I was like I think we're probably going to try to re-walk some of these things so we can apply these, hopefully in a better environment. So it was definitely God sent.

Speaker 1: 16:30

Yeah, oh, I love hearing that. And that's tough those seasons are like because the outcomes are so tied to like how athletes feel about themselves and that's their measure of success If they don't have another way to see that, through a different lens or, as a parent, know how to like. Okay, here we are again in the car ride after another loss. It can be like really exhausting and we're like what are we doing here? We'll say for those, as she's going to her off season, you should, guys, jump back in there. We restructured the program a little bit and there's now an off season training plan so she can get going with that. Okay, kristen, I'm going to circle back up to you. You kind of gave us a cliffhanger with the night and day difference or something like that. So I would love to hear what are you noticing in your daughter now? What are some of the key things that you've noticed that have changed?

Speaker 3: 17:18

I mean literally everything, but I want to say behavior change always I think you said this in an early podcast when you're trying to help your kids get through their toddler years, whatever behavior change always starts with you, right? And the biggest changes for me are how I'm prepared to handle situations and I'm ready for them With her. It started with her snapback routine, which is lesson one a brilliant strategy on your part because she was hooked because it worked. Lesson one a brilliant strategy on your part because she was hooked because it worked. She is using positive self-talk all the time. Once she really got into the program, she saw how her face and her teammates' faces and their body language, she saw the immediate impact it had on what was happening on the court and she's become really, I think, a leader in lifting people up out of that space and just I think, a leader in lifting people up out of that space and just I think focusing on effort and not outcome has been a huge thing.

Speaker 3: 18:11

And we had silent treatment and she would cry and I would know I'd said the wrong thing, but I didn't know what to say and, just like I said before and I think, a lot of people I can't do this for so many years and we both made these shifts together and we still make mistakes. It's been very gradual throughout this season. We still have two tournaments two nationals tournaments left, but I feel like she is going to be able to use these skills for the rest of her life and that has been an exciting thing to see. And she uses them on me. She uses mindset stuff on me when I'm in the wrong mindset, and so I feel like we're both different people.

Speaker 3: 18:45

And when you texted me, bree, and asked me if I wanted to be part of this panel, I was like I literally talk about it all the time, especially to women who have daughters in sports, because that like we're missing each other and we're trying to help them and we're messing it up and we're making it worse and anybody who wants to. Ultimately, this is about having a great relationship with your daughter and that building that bond down the road. And I think she's changed immensely. And the icing on the cake for us at the last tournament, where her team did get a bid to nationals in Dallas, which was exciting enough, but before that happened, her coach pulled her aside and said I want you to know, I see the changes you've made in your mindset. I can see your demeanor has changed on the court and I want you to hear it from me that I see it and that was everything to her, yeah.

Speaker 1: 19:29

Oh, kudos to that coach too for noticing. Okay, I just makes me tear up on these calls, but that's so awesome because you're right. Like two big things you hit on. Like these skills aren't just for her sport. You know this is yeah, we love the sport. We love that our kids are passionate about something, but really it's just the vehicle. It's the easiest way where they can see change, but then it goes other places and then what's more important than your relationship and for some of us it's like the sport has made the relationship worse. You know, sometimes, before we learn a different approach, it's like, like you said, how long can we do this? This is making our relationship worse. So I love that there's been a turnaround there. Thanks for sharing, grace. What did you start to notice? Even little things, I know we chatted about like, oh, we're still kind of in it, but yeah, you'll be in it forever.

Speaker 4: 20:13

By the way, yeah, absolutely Well with my fifth grader. So she is like the most petite thing at any tournament. She is like the most petite thing at any tournament. And so for her snap back routine, her like key phrases surprise them, and yeah. And so in her mind she's like I'm going to go out there and I'm going to surprise them. And I can see in practices to her routine is she thinks in her head, her key phrase surprise them, and she shakes out her hands and then she gets back in ready position and so there's just this newfound confidence in her.

Speaker 4: 20:49

There are times where she struggles, like she got teary eyed at regionals and was like mom, they want me to change out of my libero jersey and put me in as DS instead. And I was like trying to talk her through Don't think of this as you're losing playing time. Your coach is re-strategizing how to best utilize you for defense against this next team, and so her ability to get out of her negative self-talk and to zoom out to look at a greater team picture, I think has really grown in her as a fifth grader. And then, as far as like my eighth grader goes, this was definitely her hardest season yet. So this is our third season in club and I feel like every single negative thing that could possibly happen happened. She's got a really tough coach whose coaching style does not work well with her, so she's just had to learn how to receive the coaching for the technique and skills but zone out the tone of voice, zone out the facial expressions but still apply what he's trying to teach her. There's been, there was, a lot of lack of team unity this year. There wasn't a strong emphasis with this particular coach to do team building. There wasn't a strong emphasis with this particular coach to do team building, and so I feel like there were just never really close ties brought onto the team, and so she's had to learn how to navigate, staying out of team drama and focusing on the things that she can control herself.

Speaker 4: 22:18

My 8-year-old also quickly put together assembling a playlist that she listens to on the way to tournaments and does her visualizations, and so she'll get her music pumping. And then the next thing I know in the car ride to tournaments, I look over and her eyes are closed and I'm like, oh, she's going through her visualizations. So there's just a lot of things just quickly in my girls that they started applying. They love the rewards, they love getting those. And then I think, for me, this program really humbled me as, like a mom and a coach right, like I'm a young coach I'm learning a lot.

Speaker 4: 22:56

Right now this is just my third season and so, recognizing, I got to take off my coaching hat 24 seven and go back to being a mom to my kids, and so learning how to separate those two different roles was big for me and just humbling myself to my kids and saying, listen, I don't know how to be the best mom to teenagers, but I want to learn and I'm willing to learn with you guys. And so tell me what you need from me, let me know what is helping you, from coach Bree and her team, so that I can do the same things to encourage you. And I would say most of the times they just need me to listen and just to hold them and not even say anything. So those are what we've been learning in our family.

Speaker 1: 23:46

Yeah, oh, that's really great. Yeah, we have a whole kind of section in EMG for moms that are coaches. Miranda, I know you'll relate with this, I think a little bit, because it is a hard line to walk and, yeah, kind of just getting back to the mom role is key. Thank you for sharing. That was really really great. Okay, miranda, what did you start to notice so for?

Speaker 2: 24:05

me it felt almost stupid, simple, right, like the things that I needed to like, things that you can say to support you, and I'm like, duh, why haven't I? So I had to work on my own self. You know negative self-talk. I'm like you didn't ruin your kid, you got this, it's okay. And so that was my first thing of like. I instantly could see how my being a better support to my kiddo can transfer into her entire life at school and all the things. I got my hubby in on it too, and so it was just really nice being kind of a united front right when it came to parenting some of these different difficult situations With my kiddo. She wasn't motivated. At first she was super stoked that we found something, because me finding this came on the heels of a very challenging weekend tournament, and so at first she was really stoked. But then once we actually got it, then I'm like, okay, do it, go do it. She was just like okay, kind of rolling her eyes. It's like homework, right.

Speaker 2: 24:59

And I remembered, I believe, on a podcast it was like don't push. If you push, it's not. You know, you both have to be in it to win it and making sure that it's on her timeline. If you push, she's not going to retain and all that jazz. That was really hard for me, cause I'm like we just gotta go. I'm very goal oriented, so I'm like we just gotta, we just gotta go. I'm very goal oriented, so I'm like these are the objectives. We got to check the boxes. Let's keep it moving. And so I did. I sat back and I waited and a couple of weeks in, I was changing my attitude and I was changing how I was leading and supporting. And she saw that and I noticed that she was logging in and doing her work and I wasn't saying anything, I was just secretly cheerleading behind the scenes.

Speaker 2: 25:42

But, fast forward, we had it was like just a couple of weeks in I think it was two weeks in and she started to get into it and we had a big tournament in Salt Lake and we went and it was a toughie. We were in a higher sort of what Angela was saying. We were in a higher division and the girls got creamed and they weren't really used to that. And, micah, I could see her like what Grace was saying. I could see her on the court doing her snap back routine and of course I'm bawling, I'm like she's doing it and it was very tough.

Speaker 2: 26:07

It would have been I know my kiddo. It would have been at least two days, three days, where she would have held on to every single play, everything she did wrong, everything her coach said to her that she took to heart. She lost the game, which we know. You did not lose the games, but she would just take that to heart. 30 minutes, 30 minutes of her having a moment introspectively thinking about this is what happened, but I'm going to move on. And it was over. And I was like, do you realize? To my husband I'm like 30 minutes, 30 minutes is nothing.

Speaker 2: 26:42

This would have been three days, and so that in itself just made me do the happy dance and I was like the weekend is golden for me. I don't even care what the rest of the games look like, anything else. That in itself was fabulous. And then I was able to respond to her in a way so that she can see that, hey, this is what I noticed. That's super awesome. What are you learning? Tell me about that. What did that look like in your headspace? And we just had some great conversations and so, anyway, that was probably like the biggest one. I am seeing a little bit of it cross into school as well. Tests are really tough for her too, and we're doing like ISATs and stuff our standardized testing over here, and so, going into it, the same thing like with Grace was saying she's listening to her visualization, she's getting herself pumped and ready to go for test taking. I'm like, yes, please give me all of that. I love it. It's just awesome, yeah.

Speaker 1: 27:29

Oh, that's so exciting, yeah, when you were saying, well, now we made some other updates to the program too, where now we have a whole section in the mom's side or the parent's side on like getting your athlete like kind of bought in and like strategies on how to present it. So there's like a whole onboarding thing there. But it's so funny when you're like she's logging in. It's like when I had like if my toddler had been putting broccoli on his plate for, like you know, six months and then all of a sudden he ate it and I was like, okay, act normal, act normal, yep. And then, yeah, to see it actually pays off. So good job, way to keep your cool and stay the course. But, yeah, that's amazing, so good. Okay, angela, what changes did you start to notice?

Speaker 5: 28:07

I think it changed once I started changing my approach and conversation. I started seeing a little bit like why do I have to do this? I'm going to privates twice a week, what are you trying to do to me? It was like that attitude. I did not want to force her, so that curiosity, I was just trying to pull out curiosity and so, you know, I started logging in and working and she could hear it and then she's like I guess I got to go do my part, mom. I said, yeah, that would be great because we're partnered together. And I think what I really like about the program is it's like little snippets, like nine minutes. It doesn't take a lot but it just gives them enough to really chew on and think about. And I saw transfers in school, like I could literally see her attitude changing in school with her school.

Speaker 5: 28:53

But one thing I can tell you a story is we were in right at the very end of finishing the program when we were in Nebraska at a volleyball tournament and of course we got creamed. You know, like Miranda said, we just got murdered and it was the last game and most of the time Claire would not have any idea how to get her mind back into it, have any idea how to get her mind back into it, and usually she cries and she has a meltdown. And she was the only one that did not have that. So what she did, she went around her teammates and said and I'm probably going to cry at this she goes I believe in you. I was like, oh my gosh, she just said that and I started crying because I turned away from my husband. She just did not say that I believe you. So it was like how did she? I don't even know, but that was a moment when I realized that she was actually getting this and I wasn't like forcing that. So it was so good.

Speaker 1: 29:49

I would be so such a proud mom If I were to.

Speaker 5: 29:52

I was. I cried. Everybody was crying because they lost, but I was crying because my daughter was like trying to encourage her class, her mates, Like it's okay, I believe in you. We got this. It was just like the things that I've been doing, not saying a lot, but just little, just a little bit. So it was so good.

Speaker 1: 30:09

Yeah, oh, and honestly, when we hear that when athletes are like feeling more confident in themselves, they become better leaders, when they start to infuse that into the rest of their team and better body language, that's so great. Okay, there is a question in the chat that is about like, was there a time when the kiddos didn't want to do EMG or go through the steps they learned and you had to reprogram? I want to pair that with another question that we typically get that's like Miranda kind of talked about this a little bit, but curious from others how do you get the buy-in? And I will say you don't have to have her a hundred percent bought in at the beginning. You know, like Miranda and Angela said, they'll kind of come to it but how did you present it?

Speaker 1: 30:45

And then were there times where it was like, are you going to do it or not? And how did you navigate that? So, kristen, I'll start with you just on that. How I love that.

Speaker 3: 30:53

We've been talking about it for a while. I bought a book and a kid's version by. It was a father and it was his son, and he plays high school basketball, and it was on mental toughness and really a different approach, and so we've been circling it for a while, and when I found this, I said this is a thing we're going to do, and I'm going to start by doing my part, and we have a long commute to practice because we're going to do, and I'm going to start by doing my part, and we have a long commute to practice, because we're mostly in traffic, and so you can do this when you're in the car with me once a week, and then you can go back to watching TikTok or whatever you want to do, and she's been really willing. I will say that the magic of it, though, is it's not me telling her what to do, it's you telling her what to do, and so, like when you send the texts every week and she responds and you or the other coaches reply, she comes running down the stairs and was like look what coach Melinda said, what coach Bree said. I literally took a screenshot before we came on so I could show her that I was in the Zoom with you, bree, and so having someone who's not your parent tell you these things is really why this is magic and why it makes it work so much. We've had two ebbs and flows, and so I would just encourage anybody who's in this program or thinking about doing it. You don't have to project your manager way through this. It will happen and you need to just let it. And if you force it, you'll get in the way. So don't get in the way.

Speaker 3: 32:15

And it started off really well. My daughter had a fall at practice and had a contusion, was out for about a month and little did I know that she was doing visualizations the entire time. She never told me and I, because I didn't press, I didn't know. We went back to practice and I was like you looked amazing today. You look so comfortable. I've never seen you so relaxed. And she was like well, I've been doing my visualizations every day since I got my injury on my head, exploded all over the car and I was this is, oh my gosh.

Speaker 3: 32:47

And so then at the next week, I was like how did you feel? It's not just not as comfortable? And I said have you been doing your visualizations and she goes no, I forgot, I'll pick it back up. And so we've been on a three week break. We picked up practice again last week. She's back to doing it, I'm back to doing mine, and so I think the type A in me wants to sit down and just go through all of them at once and gather all the skills and be better immediately. And this is stuff that takes practice and it takes time to let it sink into your brain and to try it and to mess it up and to talk about it and try it again. I think it's been just let it be natural. We'll move at our own pace. It's ours for life and we'll keep using it and coming back.

Speaker 1: 33:28

Yeah, oh, that's awesome. I love that. She was like doing her visualizations through an injury, and that's great. We actually also added an injury section for athletes's great. We actually also added an injury section for athletes we do. We touch on it, like setbacks and things like that, but we added a specific injury section, so it's going to happen.

Speaker 3: 33:45

Yeah, yeah. We both used it immediately. We went right, we skipped ahead and it was exactly what we needed.

Speaker 1: 33:52

Yeah, oh, that's great. Okay, there was a question from Michelle. Answer really fast around texting Does her text go to all the coaches or she assigned to one? So there's three main athlete coaches me coach sailor, who is awesome. She played college basketball and track. I don't know how she did both of those things, but she's in her mid twenties and it's just phenomenal. Next, so well with the girls. So she's also one of our athlete coaches and she's equally certified same certification that I have. And then coach Melinda also pops in there as an athlete coach who also has the same certification as I do. So Saylor and I are really the main ones, and so we check in with athletes every week if they have a phone and we ask them like, hey, how's it going in the program, where are you at Any questions? And then athletes also can text us anytime that they want if they have questions, and either sailor or I or melinda respond back. So it gets assigned to all three of us and then we're all assigned to a certain routine of when we respond. So, yeah, and then they get responses monday through friday, 24 hours. Although sailor works on the weekends, sailor gets, she typically your athlete will get a response on a weekend too, from sailor.

Speaker 1: 34:56

Okay, how do parents with multiple athletes in the program do the program separate accounts? Do they share? Every athlete gets their own login, so you set them up and they all have their own login. I mean, grace, with multiple athletes, if you got some on the younger end, you can share a login. So all of that's in the enrollment, but it's up to you if you want to share a login or if she has her own email, or you can set up what we call an alias email. If you haven't heard of that, there's instructions on that when you enroll. Oh yeah, sun has its own login, perfect, okay. So, miranda, we already heard from you about the buy-in and how you went about that. Grace, how about you, like, how did you introduce it and how are you fitting it into your schedule?

Speaker 4: 35:30

So at this point, my two oldest kids have said that they're interested in playing in college, and my husband and I played a couple of years of college athletics as well, and I think for themselves they see there's a difference in some of these girls on my team who are really outstanding. And how do I get to that level? And so one day I think I was just listening to basically a sample lesson where you just hit through all these different topics because Facebook was listening to my phone, and so I went and grabbed my oldest daughter and I told her I was like you got to come listen to this coach. She's a three-time state championship title. Be like she's amazing, this is everything that that you want to hear from. And so at first she was like okay, but as she was listening and I decided to walk out of the room because I was sold, so then, as she was like listening by herself, it ended and she came out of the office and said mom, it's done. And I said what'd you think? She was like it is so good. And so she was like dipped her toe in the water. But I think, as the school season started in the fall, so we didn't buy into the program right away. But as the school season started into the fall, she started remembering all the different topics that you hit on in that sample video and I think it just opened her eyes to like all the different things that were happening on her school team and then going into tryouts for the most competitive club team that she's ever played for, making that club team and then just feeling the pressure of a whole new level of competition. And I will say that we're in the volleyball courts five to seven days a week. It's nuts.

Speaker 4: 37:13

And so it has been hard to make a commitment for me and the kids to do it regularly, and I know we should. I will sometimes strategically time dinner at 4.45 time and know that there's going to be a five o'clock level up call on a Sunday evening and so we'll just log into the level up call and I think it has really helped my daughters, even my third grader when they actually get to see peers their own age going through the exact struggles that they've been going through this season. And then having like Sailor oh my goodness, sailor is amazing Just hearing from the other girls and from you coaches how to actually like navigate their team situations, their mental toughness situations. I think that has stood out.

Speaker 4: 38:02

And then they hear me on the mom mixers, the monthly mom mixers, listening to other moms, because one of the things my eighth grader said was mom, maybe you should learn how to raise teenage daughters. And I was like, yes, I agree with you, teenage daughters. And I was like, yes, I agree with you. That's why I'm doing these mom mixer phone calls, because these moms now have high schoolers who are juniors and seniors and in college. So I need to learn from these other moms. And so they hear that I'm trying to improve myself because I have so much to learn and I do. I love hearing from the other moms and the other stories because now they're at the next level of college recruiting. And I do. I love hearing from the other moms and the other stories because now they're at the next level of college recruiting. And how do you overcome burnout and how to work through the grind.

Speaker 1: 38:45

Yeah, oh, that's so great. Love it, the things that come out of the mouths of kids. But it is true, I'm like I've never raised, however. Yeah, this is our first time. You're my first kid that this is you're of this age. Yeah, the community of moms is great and we bring in guest experts and our parent coaches to have a lot of experience. So just this last week we had our coach Rachel. She was. We interviewed her because she has raised two very successful, high-level athletes like Gatorade. Her daughter is Hemet at Michigan for basketball, gatorade player of the year. She was on ESPN the other day. We were all watching we're like.

Speaker 3: 39:21

Rachel your daughter's on.

Speaker 1: 39:23

ESPN, anyway. So she was. She gave all of her tips on, like, how to not just raise and there's a lot of genetics that go into that but how to show they're in an environment where they're not going to get burnt out. And what do you do to start the recruiting process if you have kids that want to play in college. So, yeah, there's a lot that like, yeah, when they're a little bit ahead, it's super helpful. Yeah, I love that.

Speaker 1: 39:42

Okay, I heard from Miranda and Angela a little bit about how you prioritize it, but there's some questions. Okay, how do you handle Angela? I'm going to, I'm going to have you answer this one, just because you had a kind of a rough season. So typically when that happens, the parents, like to everyone gets a little negative. So did you have that? And how do you handle negative influences from other parents? Like sideline chatter? This parent said I'm super social, I love to visit, but I want to put some people on mute. I try to change the subject, but I don't want to be rude. Did you encounter any of that this season? Oh, you're on mute now. We didn't mean for you to go on mute.

Speaker 5: 40:16

We oh, can you hear me? Yep, sorry about that, I was clicking buttons. Yes, I did encounter that, encounter that quite a bit, especially since we had such a tough season not a lot of successes, but so there was a lot of negative blaming it's the coach's fault, it's this person's fault, everybody had a blame game. And I was like and it was frustrating because I could see not that these parents were messing their children up, but they were saying all the wrong things. And what I did I just led by example, and what I mean by that I would, because we'd had these group chats or these group texts and I would slip some things that would be encouraging to say after a game Like that was a really tough loss. I noticed that you guys worked really hard, they worked hard, so I just tried to change my posture because I had your weapon now, because last year I didn't have it, but we were in a whole different level, and so I'm so thankful that I found this, because I think I would have joined them and be negative.

Speaker 5: 41:25

But what I did, I just changed my conversation, and when I did that, I noticed there's about two parents that were saying hey, I noticed something that you're doing differently? Can you share with me what you're doing? And they said I'm staying in my lane. I'm the parent. I did not become a volleyball. I'm not a coach. My husband's the coach. He's a coach but he doesn't coach our daughter. So I decided to stay in my lane to recognize that, no matter what the outcome is, I love my daughter and I want her to love the sport and even if we lose every game I want her to gain, it's going to be okay. It's not the end of the world.

Speaker 5: 42:04

So I just changed my convert, my posture, how I approached it, because I can't change anybody. I wish I could change a lot of people control things, but you can't. So I just changed what I said. I didn't roll my eyes, because I last year I rolled my eyes a lot. I would actually leave the court. I would be so upset. So I would just really intentionally change my posture, my words and that really I think that changed a lot. It didn't change the outcome, but it did change a little bit of the parent's perspective and attitude. But yeah, I think that's tough when you have that in your and I can say this was probably the worst year I've ever experienced in club volleyball ever. I don't know. I probably would have not made it if I wouldn't have had this program. It was definitely God sent because he knew that I was going to experience this and that I needed to take a whole different approach on it.

Speaker 1: 43:00

Yeah, oh, that's great. Yeah, I think that's awesome, Like you're changing and people are noticing. Other parents have also said like sometimes you just drop some of your podcast episodes in the group, chat like with other parents and you know I'm hearing also, like sometimes I sit by myself. I know that this question was like I am social, I want to be around them, but I think I did an episode I think it's in the course we talked about just letting people's comments hang like make them feel a little awkward.

Speaker 1: 43:26

I know that sounds, but it's. You don't have to engage, you don't have to respond, but just let it hang in there, like, oh, that's interesting and you know they'll notice. Like you're not the one that is going to tear the coach down and tear it. You can have your opinions about all those things, but the more that you engage in it, like you're part of the team culture as a parent and so like how you interact and how what you're talking about and what you're focusing on like for sure impacts like the athletes as well. Yeah, that's great. Okay, let's see, miranda.

Speaker 2: 43:51

I had something for you Okay.

Speaker 1: 43:52

So this question is about curious, about restoring the joy in playing. Daughter left her basketball team five years ago and I'm worried she won't go back to travel basketball. She's a great player, has a great school situation, but travel ball is up in the air. I want her to enjoy playing again at this level Now, sort of Miranda, your daughter like I mean, she had a moment where she was like I don't think I want to play anymore. Is that bringing up anything for you Like the joy of playing and kind of getting back into it?

Speaker 2: 44:15

Yeah, that was my biggest fear because I am obsessed with the sport, but I really wanted it to be her decision. I want her to love it as much as I do, but I would be so stoked if she was playing chess. I don't even care.

Speaker 1: 44:26

I'm just so proud of my color.

Speaker 2: 44:28

But when she's been playing, so that she can walk, and then to come up saying, I just don't want to play anymore. Not today was a hard day, or you know, even my coach sucks or my team, whatever it was, I don't want to play. That was like oh man. And so we just let that sit, honestly, because I didn't even know what to say. So thankfully I just didn't say anything and later we were able to discuss what was that feeling? That's pretty big feeling for you to share with me. So can we unpack that a little bit? And she really expressed it was just really hard. It's really hard and I don't want to feel these feelings that I felt again, and so it's easier for me to just walk away. And big picture is, I totally get that and I don't want you to hurt, but I also understand that you that's what life is. You're practicing and you're supposed to be failing and I know that it hurts, but you have to figure out how to. How are we going to figure out how to fail gracefully and what can we learn from it and all the things. That are eye rolly with her when I'm saying it, but through the program it really has helped to emphasize that and to always go back to her why, I think, at least once a week, whether it's in a group call or a text from a coach or in the work that she's doing online. It talks about what your why is and what are you doing and is it really fulfilling you. If it's not, that's totally cool, that's fine. It's better to recognize that right now than to just fake it. But realizing is this giving you joy? Is it bringing you joy Now? Does that mean 24, seven? That's okay too, and that's where you know mom and dad can talk about it, or with coaches and things like that.

Speaker 2: 46:12

I will tell you the lows are still there, but they're so much easier to deal with because, like what the ladies I've already shared, I'm able to stay in my lane. I'm not coaching her, that's not my role here and she's able to find me and dad as a safe place, and so it's not so exhausting, right? She's not going to get coached by one more person. She knows that she can come home and puke all the things out and we're going to be like, oh man, and how did you handle it? It's like watching a movie. I'm like, oh, really, tell me more and then she's able just to get it out.

Speaker 2: 46:46

And when she gets it out and she's able to regulate, she's like cool, let's do it again. And so I'm able to see that I'm that safe person for her, that safe place for her through this program, and so it reignites the flame. When she does have the hard times, I'm there, she can give it all to me, we can talk through it without being coached, but really just a sounding board and I'm listening with intent and being honest about man. I don't know. Do you think coach Brie knows? Let's go look online together and see. Sorry, coach Brie, I put a lot of pressure on you.

Speaker 2: 47:24

It's okay, so I'm here for it. Yeah, for the most part we can figure it out that way, or at least find a simple solution, that to help us breathe right now. And then I'm telling you that just releases the pressure. And so then she's like, okay, I'm good, let's go play. And it really is that bounce back. And so it's not. Does that? Is it a hundred percent? 150%, joyful all the time, 20%, no, but is she able to realize that and keep going? Absolutely.

Speaker 1: 47:53

Absolutely Great and that's what we want, cause it's not going to be a hundred percent joyful when she graduates high school or goes through high school, goes through college. Relationships like that's not life, and so expecting that and setting that precedent, like you should be happy all the time and let's get you there. You know we got to get back to that. It's really good that they now have skills to weather those things. So, yeah, yeah, go for it, grace.

Speaker 4: 48:17

One thing I just wanted to add to was my oldest was losing her joy in the sport too, and there was a point this season with being on the most competitive team that she's yet been on, having a really tough coach. She also said halfway through the season mom, I just want to quit. And I was like what? We have already committed so much time, money and energy, like we're committed for this season. So we got to figure out how to get you through and give a hundred percent. And she was crying in the middle of for this season. So we got to figure out how to get you through and give a hundred percent. And she was crying in the middle of a tournament because her coach yelled at her completely, humiliated her other coaches and other teams on other courts and if any of you guys go to volleyball tournaments, you know how loud it is in those facilities but the way that he yelled at her and scolded her, just she was like done. And in the end what we found was okay, let's, let's figure out a better like work-life balance for her. So we started rewriting what does your week look like, because we're at the gym so many days a week? How do we build in social opportunities with your non-volleyball friends. If you're too tired to do a workout on your off days, okay, take that time to rest. And so I think that has all helped restore the joy for her.

Speaker 4: 49:42

And now, when the beginning of the season, she played on a higher level team. And now, when the beginning of the season she played on a higher level team, she wasn't getting any playing time out of one position. She's now the starting libero for her team. They just want to bid to nationals. Her coach, she had a really bad practice just a week ago and I was like, how come you seem so joyful when you said, oh, practice didn't go so well? She was like because you know, I just don't care about my coach's opinion anymore and I can't please all my teammates, so I'm just going to do the best that I can. And if it didn't go well, it didn't go well, because I know that sometimes I just have off days and I just want it to like scream in joy, because that was not her just even three to four months ago. So I think, even though this season has been really hard for her, I think the experience of going through all these adversities and then learning how to be resilient has been so helpful.

Speaker 1: 50:35

Oh, that's so great, so great. We talk about that Like we do a little motivation lesson as well, where it's like the rule of thirds. So we tell athletes like hey, a third of the time it's going to be great, great training session, amazing. Third of the time it's going to be like not so great but not bad. And a third of time it's going to be bad, like that's just part of it. And so we tell athletes, if you have a bad training session or practice or whatever, just know like that's actually normal, it's expected and we need those days, we're going to let it go because tomorrow, odds are, is likely going to be better or great. Yeah, just a little perspective.

Speaker 1: 51:06

Okay, so we're at the hour. I want to respect everybody's time. I do have some questions that I will be answering. So, moms that ask questions, I will stay on to make sure those get answered. But I do want to give all the moms just 30 second wrap up, any last many thoughts or anything that you felt like you wanted to share that but didn't get a chance. We'll end with that, with all four of you, and then I'll say and answer the rest of these questions. So, kristen, we'll start with you.

Speaker 3: 51:28

I'll just tell you a really fast story about how this has worked outside of sports, which I think is ultimately why we're doing this right, taking my daughter to her private lesson. We're running really late because of traffic and I'm just like my shoulders are bunched up, I'm stressed, I hate being late, and so my kid like mindset practices on me. So first she turns on some Bob Marley to set the mood and then she says I just want to point out, I know you're stressed, but we're safe and we're where we're supposed to be and we're probably missing accidents right now and that's helping us keep us safe. And I was like, okay, 13 year old, that was wise. And then she says and also, let's focus on what we can control.

Speaker 3: 52:05

Right now we can't control the traffic, we can't control that relate, but we can control, like, how we feel and our conversation here, and so let's just take a breath together. And I was like, did you just use mindset training on me, I know? And she was like yes, and I'm like well done, and so, like I said this in the chat, but all of this is ultimately about distress, tolerance, and that's for parents and it's also for kids and it applies everywhere, it works everywhere and it's a hundred percent the best thing you've ever done.

Speaker 1: 52:31

Oh my gosh, that was a great story. Oh, it is true. I mean, I don't know how many of you are also reading the anxious generation by Jonathan. Hey, can anyone add that to your audible? But it reminded me of that, like you know, just being able to manage those situations without shutting down and being like, oh my gosh, I can't deal. Love that, okay, grace.

Speaker 4: 52:49

I would just say, if you are just on the edge of, do I buy into this or don't buy into this, just do it, because if I remember correctly, you have a certain amount of time to just try it and sample it. I think that you will find that it is well worth all of the opportunities just to grow in yourself as a mom but to build greater connections with your daughters. I know that the stress level in the beginning coming into this new club season was at a whole different level because we were trying out for the highest team that we could in our area and there was a lot of tension. But going through this program has helped us and her previous club coaches. We still keep in touch with them and the parents and they have noticed the change in Genesis. They've seen her confidence grow in the way that she holds herself on the court and to have other outsiders recognize that while there's something different has been really encouraging to her.

Speaker 1: 53:46

Yeah, that's so amazing. It's so fun when you're like, oh wow, somebody else is noticing, that's so great Okay.

Speaker 2: 53:53

Miranda, I guess just kind of a reminder that if you're struggling with I don't know what to do, I can't do this anymore Then it's very apparent to your kid. Your kiddo is feeling all of that too, because if, by the time you're seeing it whether it's how they perform on whatever they're doing, or their coaches are seeing it, or it's impacting them at homeschool, whatever they've been internalizing it for a minute, right, so by the time it's actually bubbling over and you're seeing some of it, then they need some support there and so if you're at a loss, then this is really perfect. It's something right, like it's something and it's a really good something. That's where I feel like the common theme for all of us. That's where we were like what do we do?

Speaker 2: 54:38

And so doing something and being able to communicate with your child and provide support while they actually are gaining the tools for success, or not just their sport, but into adulthood, it's such a gift and, like all these ladies have said, it's created such a awesome relationship with me and my kiddo, my kiddo and her dad and, anyway, just making her an awesome person. Side note, I'm noticing that most of our kiddos are going to nationals in Dallas. We probably like a separate zoom call because man, we might need some coffee or some sort of therapy session together.

Speaker 1: 55:15

I'd say yeah, I'm okay, I'll connect you three in the email, the follow-up email, and then you guys yeah, cause yeah, you're all in, you're not in Vegas. And Dallas Okay, dallas, okay cool, that's great. Yeah Cause yeah, you're all in, you're not in Vegas. And Dallas Okay, dallas, okay cool, that's great. Yeah, you should definitely get together. Okay, angela, how about you?

Speaker 5: 55:33

Just, I will not be at that because we didn't make it, by the way.

Speaker 3: 55:37

Sorry, I didn't mean to leave you out of that, angela, but it's all good, it's all good.

Speaker 5: 55:41

No, it's all good. I think for me it's just it's really changed, my daughter and I, how we talk to each other and just I think the conversations are longer and I've learned how to just shut up and just let her lead that conversation. But I would say, because she is my final one my other two are grown up focus on the journey, focus on this new process, but don't like focus on the outcome that much, cause that will just stress you out, like it just will stress you out and I think that just brings back that control factor, because I taught for years public school, private school. So I like this because I come from a teacher perspective and I like the backward design, like I like to work backwards. But I've noticed that you like, yeah, would love to go to nationals, but that's not the outcome. Like I'm focused on the journey with her, how I can help her understand what she can control and what she can't, and I want to teach her how to think and not what to think.

Speaker 5: 56:39

And I think your framework coach free is spot on. It is just, it's just been incredible. It was so timely for us and it just saved her from leaving volleyball. We're trying out for a whole new club and so it's going to be a journey and so these conversations, this journey we have is going to be interesting. But I would say, if you're just not sure, if you want to join, like Grace said, there's a window where you can pull out, but I guarantee you you won't you will be in it. Like Grace said, there's a window where you can pull out, but I guarantee you you won't, you will be in it. I guarantee you, because I have five more years with Claire, that if she continues we'll be in this program and apply it to each situation that we have. But just enjoy the journey and have fun and remember why you're doing it.

Speaker 1: 57:26

Oh, that's a great finish up and, by the way, okay, so Angela, I have, she's going to do her off season plan, and then we have a tryout section in there too. I saw that. Yes, yeah, so you have her, she has hers and you have yours. So that'll be good too, to try out the new club. All right, Well, thank you so much, moms. I really appreciate you sharing so generously.

Speaker 1: 57:43

Like I said, I'm going to stay on and answer the rest of the questions. They're a little more directed towards me anyways, but, thank you, I will follow up with an email connect all of you, and I just really appreciate you sharing so much. So, yeah, have a great rest of your day. Bye, moms. Okay, and then challenge moms. There were some great questions in here. How do you push when there's a time limit with the coaches in the beginning yeah, I think this is referring to you have six months of free live support and coaching, and so you're kind of like, okay, you know, can we get, we get on this, and that can be hard. So some ways that athletes and moms navigate the program. First of all, you have that two week window where there's a money back guarantee and, just like the mom said, you can schedule into your week. You're like, hey, we're just going to try this and we're going to go to Starbucks together and sit down, I'm going to do some of my stuff, I'll have you, and all you need to do is listen to a 10 minutes, okay, and just like make it very short. Our training plan is 30 minutes a week, but the videos are like between five and 15 minutes and so just like adding into the schedule and being like this is what we're going to do and I just need you to try and if you don't like it, that's fine. That's not what I'm asking, but we're just going to try it for a little bit. And we do find that like there's also a section in the mom side on onboarding tips. So we have all the tips and the things that you can say and things to watch to help your athlete kind of get interested in the program, if she's not already.

Speaker 1: 59:03

I will say that most are and then most, once they get going in it, like want to continue going. Like Miranda said, we put a lot of our heavy hitting strategies at the beginning so that they're getting quick wins. So, and if your athlete's heading into the off season right now, summer. This is a great time. We actually, as soon as they enter they are going to, they go through a process to know, like, where to start. So if your daughter is in her like heading into an off season, she'll start with her off season training plan. If she isn't, then she'll be more in just like a general training plan. So off season is a perfect time for her to build these skills and then heading into her season strong. Okay, let's see here I wish I had found this a year ago. I have a rising junior playing competitive soccer.

Speaker 1: 59:41

We call that Sunday calls will be separated between high school girls and younger. Can you speak a little more towards how the material may meet needs of both middle school and a high school player? Yeah, yeah, the calls themselves are separated. So we have between athletes between 11 to 18 years old and we have some college level athletes as well and we have some that are a little bit younger. The content is geared, I will say, towards higher middle school to high school level. So those strategies and so all of those are like our high schoolers are able to implement really the whole system. Okay, so they're keying in on really everything, whereas middle schoolers and younger they might not be dealing quite yet with pre-performance nerves or anxiety. Okay, so they'll watch that left lesson or the training, but it might not totally apply to their situation yet or some of the deeper things like perfectionism. And so the high school and college like they're really grasping every single thing that's in the program, and then that's also why we separate the calls. So those questions that the high schoolers and college girls are asking are much different than the middle school and younger, and so we really direct a little bit deeper when we coach them. It's a little bit of a deeper process, like we're really having them reflect on. What is this thought? Is it true? Even where do you think this thought came from, you know, whereas middle schoolers can't quite grasp that. So we keep it a little more higher level, but still the awareness is there of oh, that's an interesting thought that popped into your head. Do you have to hang on to it or can we let it go? And so the strategies themselves apply to a wide range. I hope that makes sense and the high school and college really are going to be able to implement every single part right away, whereas the middle school and younger. The program is going to grow with them. Okay, all right, I'm going to stick to here.

Speaker 1: 1:01:17

My daughter has been using and really enjoys the affirmations and visualizations. How can we use them when your daughter isn't selected for the team? My daughter can get herself in a state where she doesn't feel good enough. By the way, other moms with dancers know this dance is increasingly acrobatic and though our daughter is beautiful, the answer has been working very hard. The acro isn't a strength of hers and she's just feeling defeated. Yeah, and it just happened to be that a lot of the moms on the panel today have athletes in team sports. But we we have dancers, we have ice skaters, we've got swimmers, tennis players, like all of the sports in.

Speaker 1: 1:01:53

Now, if she isn't selected for a team and she's still planning on trying out again or still planning and participating, that's when we would have them do the off-season plan. She's still going to visualize because she wants to visualize how she wants to show up in her next season. She's also going through meditation just for, like, daily life. I mean learning how the skill of using breath work, of shifting herself, talk. The affirmations in the off season we have our athletes come up with affirmations for their off season and what they're working on. So like they create a plan for themselves, they have goals and then their affirmations are aligned with that and so those are the affirmations that they're using. And then when she shifts to season or she tries out again and makes a team, then she's going to change her affirmation. She'll go through phase two again, which is only about 30 minutes long, to reorient her affirmations with the current season that she's in. So those are going to change.

Speaker 1: 1:02:38

And that's why we say, like the program really does evolve with athletes, because it's not a one and done, like you don't just like set goal and our goal setting is very different than like a typical like okay, we're gonna set goals, like some of you experienced last night on the call. We include the mindset of it, we include visualizations, because we know it can't just be like something you say and then don't do and your mindset has to be in alignment with that. So, yeah, great question. Okay, my daughter has a very tough coach. He doesn't show many emotions other than when they do wrong. He has looks of disappointment to my daughter, doesn't do good with it. I hope EMG helps her cope with it. Okay, and then it sounds like you just joined, absolutely Like that's one of the one of the takeaways that we hear a lot from athletes is that they're taking coaching better, that they're able.

Speaker 1: 1:03:18

I mean, you heard one of the moms on like I'm choosing grace, that I've decided like his opinion doesn't matter and I'm just going to do the best that I can and I can't control what he's thinking or what he's doing. And then in that bonus that we have for you when you join by today, we have the how to rise above teammate drama and thrive under challenging coaches bundle. And that's really where we go into. Like here, when you have a challenging coach which your daughter will at some point in her career, here's how to handle it. And barring any abuse, of course, like we in the mom side of it, we tell you like okay, here's what you need to look for if you're suspecting it's like abusive language and all of that. But really it's teaching them. We do an inside out approach, teaching them what they can control, making sure they have a support system in place and then advocating if she needs. But yeah, we definitely dive in because that's a very common thing.

Speaker 1: 1:04:00

We also coach a lot on that on the live calls and via text for athletes. That on the live calls and via text for athletes? Okay, I feel like I saw another question. Maybe Christina's answering it. Okay, yeah, christina answered Rebecca's. We don't. For the zoom calls, the link is sent via text. Yeah, not social media. For the mom calls we do have two times a month with live training. So that's for you. However, they're recorded and they're uploaded right after into your portal and then they're just kind of like the challenge. We have a private podcast for any of the mom. We upload them to the private podcast afterwards so that you can listen. That's my favorite way to listen to things, like you can listen to your car on your walk, wherever. Okay, I thought I saw a question. Oh, this one Thoughts on recognizing the difference between burnout and confidence issues, and then, if there's not any other questions, we'll draw our blackout winner here in a second.

Speaker 1: 1:04:45

So burnout and confident we have a whole section in the mom's side as well and like preventing burnout and recognizing signs of burnout, burnout typically is like she it's. It is kind of hard, you know, because it could be either, but typically she's expressing like more than just one sign of exhaustion. So there's, she's probably telling you like I don't want to go to practice, so that obviously is a sign. And if it is happening for weeks and weeks at a time, but also if she's physically exhausted, okay, so you're noticing like she's not getting, she feels like she's never getting enough rest, she's not feeling recovered, like all of that. Because burnout is a combination of, like mental, physical, emotional, and so look at all three of those things like mentally, are there things going on in her sport that are causing her to like and she can't deal. You know, she's not really dealing with feedback well from a coach, or she has lost her playing time and she's struggling with that, or she's struggling with pressure. Emotional is connected to that as well, but just like the feeling of like I'm not enjoying my sport anymore, I really don't want to go. And then the physical side of it as well. So the physical like are you noticing that she's lacking energy, and so burnout can typically be solved with breaks and intentional breaks and talking through that, confidence issues are like we've got to look what are the specific things that are going on in her sport and is this something that wasn't happening last season? Is there a change? Is the pressure higher. You heard a lot from the mom. So like she's trying out now for a bigger team and so the pressure is there. She has a different coach that's a lot tougher and that's impacting her confidence. She's got a teammate, so typically this confidence thing is cropping up because now she's experiencing different things in her sport. Okay, great question.

Speaker 1: 1:06:18

I would love to hear your take for those that have kids that aren't too social. Do you feel they have, after the program, changed to since the conference is up? Oh, yeah, and I think some of the moms answered this in the chat because it's really about like stress tolerance. And then, yeah, christina said also we have a training in there about leadership and being an introvert and seeing that as something that's empowering and actually one of her superpowers, and so we kind of change this approach around. You have to be in order to be a leader. You have to be the one that's very social and be the loud one and be the. You know all of this, and so we do address that piece of it specifically on introversion. But, yeah, we do hear from moms as well that they're starting to take steps to connect with their teammates a little bit more.

Speaker 1: 1:07:02

We coach athletes on this as well. That and teammate dynamics are so hard, I will say, you know, cause there's like clicks and there's the age of the girls and it's just like the social. It can be really tricky but we teach the girls like little little things like hey, get to practice just a little bit earlier and see if you can connect with just one player and make sure you know the names of your team, and like little tips like that that help kind of with that socialness. I'm trying to remember now, like Christina, maybe you remember, but there was a mom recently that texted in something about this and how her daughter she's now noticing her daughter is like talking to more girls on the team and just making those connections, because when she starts to realize like hey, they're actually not thinking about me as much as I think they are, you know, kind of letting go of this, like oh my gosh, I'm going to make a wrong move, or you know, because sometimes that's underlying and then they're a little more free to just kind of be themselves.

Speaker 1: 1:07:53

So, yeah, we have heard from moms that that is something that has happened after the program.

Speaker 1: 1:07:58

Yeah, exactly, when they're comfortable, yeah, that's the whole psychological safety thing, right. So, so, of course there's like an element of like team dynamic and leadership there from the coach and creating those opportunities as well, and so we've coached parents too on like how to have that conversation with a coach to like help bridge some of this. If it really is like an issue that like hey, my daughter's being left out or there's a better way to like you know, even as simple as like hey find a partner at the beginning of practice can be like so anxiety provoking for some athletes because they're like I don't have any friends and everybody else partners up and then I'm left alone. Like coaches can change little things like that to like help the team dynamic and culture, but obviously it takes a little bit of navigating as a parent to figure out like how to bring that up to a coach. So we coach you through that. All right, moms, it was so great to see you and if you have, like I said, if you have any questions.