Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome back to the Raising Elite Competitors podcast. I'm Coach Bree, a mental performance coach for girl athletes, and I am so excited that you are here. We have a special episode today. I'll talk about why in a second, but before I do, if you are a sports mom who is just getting going on this whole sports mom journey maybe your daughter is just starting athletics, or you're a sports mom with a ton of seasons under your belt and you are wanting to help your daughter level up this podcast is for you. We teach sports moms exactly how to build mental strength and confidence in their athletes so that they can enjoy their sports journey, reach their goals and believe in themselves along the way. Now, like I mentioned, this episode is special because doors right now are open to our signature mental training program called the elite mental game.

Speaker 1: 0:48

Now, this is our program that we are most known for. It's our flagship program. We've had thousands of moms and athletes come through. Half of it is for athletes to learn how to develop their mental game, so they learn all the foundations of how to develop a strong mental game so that they can be confident in their sport and they can reach their goals. How to develop a strong mental game so that they can be confident in their sport and they can reach their goals. And then the other half of it is for sports moms and dads, and this is where you learn exactly what to say and do to support your athlete through her sports journey. So what to say not say how to build her confidence, how to make sure you're not doing the things that accidentally bring her confidence down, because we unintentionally do some things in our pursuit to try and build up her confidence. So half the program is actually for you as well.

Speaker 1: 1:28

Now, like I said, doors are open right now for spring enrollment special. And here's the deal when I'm considering joining something, buying something, investing in something, I tend to just want to hear from people who have done it and who have been there. That helps me the most with my decision. So what we decided to do was interview some sports moms who have been through the Elite Mental Game. Now these moms are all at different points inside the Elite Mental Game. One of them has been through the whole program. Her and her daughter have been through and they're about a year out and still using the skills that they learned. We have one who just recently started, so she's talking about the changes that she is seeing in her daughter and in herself that have happened almost immediately, and then a couple others have been through or are kind of going through currently, right now. So we wanted to provide you with some different perspectives people who have been at different points inside the program and also answering just some very common questions that we're getting from moms and dads about the program, and you get to hear it from people who have been there. So it's one thing for me to answer your questions, which I absolutely love doing as well, but it's another just to hear it from somebody who's been there, and that's what this episode is all about. So this is a replay of a sports mom panel that we did recently and so, yeah, you could just get to hear firsthand what it is all about. So I hope that this is helpful just to hear from somebody who is in your shoes right now.

Speaker 1: 2:52

If you do have other questions as we're in this spring enrollment special, if you're listening at the time of recording don't hesitate to reach out to us. You can DM me at elite competitor coach. You can email us at hello at elite competitorcom. We are here to answer any questions that you might have about EMG. Now, without further ado, I want you to go ahead and enjoy this episode, this replay of our panel that we had with sports moms who joined us talking all about their experience inside the elite mental game. I am excited to introduce to you some of our EMG moms. Some of these moms have been through the program and are, you know, graduated, and their athletes are applying the skills. Some are in it currently. So we're going to, I'm going to introduce and then just throw questions their way. So questions that you have, questions that I've been given ahead of time as well, and anything that comes up as we go. So I am going to start with Kim. I'll have you introduce yourself, kim, yeah thank you.

Speaker 2: 3:49

Hi everybody, I joined the program as a mom who was looking for an answer for her daughter. So my daughter, lila, is now 17. So she's a junior in high school and her sport is basketball, and we were primarily searching for solutions to be confident. So that's how we got here and we've been part of the program now for a couple of years and we keep revisiting all of the things, so happy to be here and help answer any questions and lend insight that we can. Today, Cool.

Speaker 1: 4:18

Thanks, Kim. Okay, let's see, Brandy. You're next on my screen. Hi everybody, I'm Brandy. I have three daughters.

Speaker 3: 4:23

We did the program with my oldest daughter, avery, who's 13, and, honestly, using a lot of these tools with my 10 and nine-year-old as well. Avery's primary sport is basketball and we started in the program because I recognized that there was a gap between her physical ability and what she felt like her roadblocks were, and trying to move out, move those hurdles out of the way and really like what Kim was saying like help her gain the confidence that these are not boulders, but just you know, you're able to navigate them. So we've been in the program now and I've seen wonderful things, so thank you.

Speaker 1: 5:01

Cool. Well, we'll get into that. I'm excited to get into that in a second. Okay, shay, hello everybody, I'm excited to get into that in a second Okay, Shay, Hello everybody, I'm Shay.

Speaker 4: 5:06

I have two kids in the program. For the most part I have an eight-year-old who this goes over her head, so outside of the snapback which you will learn in a program, that's all she does. But the main person I put in the program was my 14-year-old. She plays volleyball and just confidence is really what got us here Pretty much, watching her like get in her head and completely downward spiral, even for tryouts. You know, just mentally just not there and so bad that she even would like feel physically sick. So that's what kind of got us here. But I also have put my son in the program. He is 12 years old and he plays football and it worked just fine for him as well. So I have both my 14 and my 12 year old both going through EMG and we just recently graduated. Kind of got kicked out the Facebook group, kind of sad about that. But I'm here to answer any questions you guys may have.

Speaker 1: 5:57

Well, shay, I mean, there's ways you can get back in, so we should talk about that, I know. Okay, all right, cool, all right. First question is what prompted you in the first place? Some of you kind of shared a little bit about that. You're like confidence, you know the roadblocks, but what were you seeing in your athletes, like kind of give an example, that you were like, hey, you know what, this program would be actually a great thing for her to dive into. So, kim, what was it for you? It was like the big thing.

Speaker 2: 6:23

Yeah, so I had a chance to kind of coach Lila through middle school so I started after having that hindsight perspective. I started to notice things then. But for me what it looked like watching her game was hesitations on the court, so not trusting her instincts, passing the ball off in situations where she was more than capable of handling taking a shot herself or something like that. So I started to see what looked like overthinking being translated into not reacting quickly on the court, not playing Like you could tell. She was in her head and thinking about things. She was dropping her head when she made mistakes. She was afraid to make mistakes. That's kind of what we were seeing on the court. As far as I started to really recognize that she was struggling.

Speaker 1: 7:10

Yeah, Okay, yeah, that's great and that's so relatable to you. I just had a mom yesterday that was like her body language is like it's so hard to watch in those moments. Yeah, okay, brandy, what about for you? You mentioned like the Boulder thing, but like what? What did that actually look like?

Speaker 3: 7:24

Yeah, so very similar to it, like no other right. And so when you see them and you can recognize when they're free and like letting the flow process happen, when they're having fun, things just happen Right, and then suddenly they're enjoying. And then when they feel like there's this pressure on them and Avery is the leader of her basketball team, is one of the physical and mental leaders on her basketball team. She put a lot of pressure on herself, but then she also plays soccer. That's more recreational, both team sports, but very different Avery's, I guess you'd say.

Speaker 3: 8:06

Avery felt like I have to be this perfect person out here on basketball but with soccer, and actually help her coach soccer. She's just like oh, there's not all this pressure on me, and so trying to those two things to say this is in here and we have to work on it in your head, because they're both team sports, you're good at both of them. But the mental blocks that you are putting in your way because you have such high aspirations for yourself, they're great aspirations but let's work through it. So you know, like I said, a lot of the body language, things similar, like not passing the ball off or making hesitant choices instead of just letting it flow and trusting that you know she has all the tools to be successful.

Speaker 1: 8:53

So yeah, that's so great and I remember we talked about this last time. But yeah, Brandy's, your husband was the one that actually first like program. Yes, yeah.

Speaker 3: 9:04

So my husband and I both come from sports backgrounds and he played in the NFL as well for a few years before we had kids. So you know, and I played division one lacrosse at Ohio State, where he played football as well. So you know, trying to navigate how our brains are already wired as far as knowing the things that we developed growing up as young children, as teenagers, as adults, playing a sport at a very high level, it's a process right. So now we've had to take a step back and recognize not only do we already have the tools. We can't expect our 13 year old to automatically have those tools. In addition, we're also the parents as well.

Speaker 3: 9:56

So I have to recognize that I am mom. I'm not always coach, even though I do help her coach soccer sometimes. And that is dad. Even though he did help, he did coach her in basketball for a few years, he's not her primary coach anymore. So taking those steps back as well to recognize all right, we put our children in a position to be successful. Recognize when we need to step away and just be like you know what. They don't need athlete Brandy, they don't need athlete Bam, they need mom, they need dad. And what is our goal in that process? It's very hard because we've been trained, honestly, more as athletes than the amount of time that I've been a mom of an athlete. So that whole process, like this whole entire process, has been learning for our entire family, because not only have my husband and I had to rewire our brains, we've had to step back and recognize, all right, well, what are the tools that we need to help Avery with her own journey in this so long way?

Speaker 1: 11:02

that's it. Oh, but you said that really well. I mean, that's a really great point. Like we've been trained as athletes those of us that have athletic backgrounds. We've been athletes longer than we've been moms of athletes. That's so true. I've never thought about that, but that's so true and it really is. You played at Ohio state either. One of my assistant coaches is like a huge Ohio state fan and on my first yeah, on my first varsity coaching game, she gave me like a Buckeye and was like this is like your good luck. That was like 12 years ago, but I still have it.

Speaker 3: 11:32

Yeah, it was a whole necklace of Buckeyes.

Speaker 1: 11:35

Oh really, yeah, I need that now. All right, shay, how about for you? And hi, april, yeah, well, have you introduced yourself in a second? So, shay, originally I think the question was what were you seeing in your daughter that you were like, okay, yeah, we're going to move into something?

Speaker 4: 11:48

Yeah. So like she did not make her high school team and when my daughter's already behind the schedule. She just picked up volleyball like literally a year and a half ago, like, oh, I want to do this for you. And now she's going into high school, whereas kids been playing since they were like eight. So she's already behind the eight ball. But she's comparing herself to people. That's been doing it for years and I'm just like you got to stop comparing yourself to other people. They're not the ones that you're competing against. You got to compete against yourself.

Speaker 4: 12:14

But things like just trying out and watching her the day of just get bent over, sick in the stomach, can't even sit up straight. So she completely ruined her tryouts chances because she's completely sick. It was all coming from her head. She's completely making herself sick from her mental, just being all over the place. And then when she was in club ball, you know, same thing, just the confidence level something goes bad. She's hard on herself. You know, thumb down, want to sit down on the bench, and what have you?

Speaker 4: 12:40

And my son with football, he gets yelled at by the coach and his old attitude changes and he's not playing nothing anymore, he's just throwing the ball away. It's just it was a hot mess with my kids and I have no problem supporting my children with anything they want to do. So they want to play volleyball, they want to play basketball you know all these sports that we constantly paying for, for training and and coaches and all this jazz. And then this popped up and I'm just like well, why wouldn't I train in mental? It's part of everything else I'm willing to pay for and we all know your brain is like the main source.

Speaker 4: 13:10

So it kind of just made sense that this would be the route we take in. It's a different approach than anything I've ever had growing up. You know, no one was trying to train our mental brain, so I just thought it was a unique way to add to all the other things I'm willing to put them in to help them grow. And it just worked out tremendously. But literally it was just me having an aha moment where I get coaches and I get training. Why wouldn't I train their brains as well? And I took the risk and jumped in and it's been a game changer.

Speaker 1: 13:39

Yeah, cool. Well, I'm going to get into that piece in a second. But, april, why don't you go ahead and introduce yourself? We talked about what sports your athletes play, how old, and then we were just sharing, like, what were you kind of noticing in your daughter before you joined EMG?

Speaker 5: 13:55

this year, and so she plays basketball. This is actually her third year playing basketball, second year on varsity, and she also is going to do track after basketball season is over. We're on our state championship run. So you know, whenever that's done, then we'll do track for the first time. So you know, really this is the first time that she's been dedicated to a sport. Usually it's just like, hey, I want to try this. And I'm like, oh, that's awesome. Hey, I want to try this, that's awesome.

Speaker 5: 14:29

And so sports were always easy when they were just for fun. Now we're at a place where she's like, hey, I want to play in college. So it's obviously more dedicated than what it was before. And so you know, she's a natural athlete, but she has only been playing basketball for three years. Of course you have other people who've been playing for 11 years, so she's kind of behind, like how Shay was saying, but she's grown a lot in these three years.

Speaker 5: 14:56

And so the issue that we were having it was mental right. Her coach used to tell her that you know, you are athletic, you can pretty much do anything, but it's what's in between your ears, that's like messing you up. He was like, if you could just get your mental together. I mean, like the sky really is the limit. And so that was the thing is, because you know she would have a game, and like she would or not even games, sometimes it'd be practices and the coach would be getting on her and then she just would start crying and just have a meltdown, you know, and that's pretty much how practices were. We were at a point where we just hated going to practice, just like, hey, I'll just sit in a car for these three hours instead of being there.

Speaker 5: 15:35

And so when I saw ECP one day on Facebook, I was like I love how you do it. You ask all these questions. And I'm like, yes, and the next one, yes, all of I love how you do it. You ask all these questions and I'm like, yes, and the next one, yes, all of these things you know.

Speaker 5: 15:49

And so as I stepped into one of the trainings and I was like I mean, I was like this is like definitely what we need, and I mean it's like they say it's been a game changer, because it has not only helped her to bounce back faster. I think the best thing that I've learned is my role, and so in everything, I'm like, is this helpful? No, okay, listen, you know what I mean. So having me to step back, having my husband and I to step back and, you know, let us be in our role as a parent I think has helped us the most. And realizing that, hey, guess what, we don't need a coach here. We got coaches and trainers and all these people to get paid to do all these things. We don't have to have that.

Speaker 1: 16:26

Oh, april cut out, but I think you got the gist. Actually, that is a good segue into the next question and that is what was the most helpful thing that you think your daughter learned as she was going through the programs. What was helpful?

Speaker 2: 16:55

And, as a result, what did you start to see in your daughter because of that? So, kim, I'll circle back to you. I'll just say that, up front, we just got so many more benefits than we were even looking for. But specifically, we kind of came in.

Speaker 2: 17:10

Lila was hearing feedback from coaches. She just needs to be confident. She just needs to be confident. We had a breakdown moment. She was bawling to me and just saying don't they think I want to be confident? I don't like feeling like this. I don't like how this is going for me. I don't know how. Nobody's telling me how.

Speaker 2: 17:26

And so with this program, I think it really gave Lila, first off, the awareness, right, like okay, now I know that this is the thing. I'm not crazy. It helped calm her down because she was starting to think something was wrong with her. Maybe it helped her recognize that other people are going through it. It gave her tools and strategies, which then just tangible things that she could do and apply, which is what she had been looking for and not receiving, and then just the ability to empower herself. So those are like the three really big takeaways, I think just the awareness, then the tool set and then the empowerment. She knows that, you know. Anytime she's up in her head, she has the power to tell herself a different story and change the way she's approaching the game or what the situation, whatever so those are big takeaways, yeah, yeah, which is huge.

Speaker 1: 18:22

I love that. You said that it's like I'm not the one that has like a problem. There's nothing wrong with me, you know. That's, I think a lot of athletes so I also struggled with was like am I the only one that, like is feeling like this? And it's not a problem that athletes are experiencing that? It's actually very, very normal. Um, all do, but the problem is that sometimes we don't talk about it and so athletes are kind of left like isolated, feeling like they're the only ones. So, yeah, that's huge. Yeah, brandy, how about for you? What was most useful? What changes did you start to see?

Speaker 3: 18:51

Yeah, I think, to segue into what you were saying, the feeling like you know. It's one thing we all know teenage girls, teenagers, are never going to listen to their parents, right? Because what would we?

Speaker 3: 19:01

know it's like we've never been teenagers where we don't know anything Right. So to have the, I think the biggest thing for Avery when we first started out were the meetings that you would have with the other teenagers her age so that way you know she could hear oh, it's not just me, there are other girls around the country that are feeling the same exact way. Other girls around the country that are high achieving in the classroom and on the court, slash field, slash playing field, wherever they are, that have really high goals for themselves and feel these levels of like anxiety, nervousness, like stress. You know, like how do you manage all of that? Paid her stop, thanks. How do you manage all that? So I think number one that was huge for Avery's because it was I'm not alone, right, like I can listen to other people and hear how they're getting through it. The second thing I think helped Avery and me is that she recognized that I also was going through this program together, so I was going through it with her. So not only was it like oh no, ave, that's on you, this is your, your program, you do it by yourself. What did Coach Bree say? You know, you got to do what she got to do, what she says and it's like on you, on you, on you.

Speaker 3: 20:20

I truly feel like this program is a family program.

Speaker 3: 20:23

It's not just about getting the player better on the court, it's about improving the dynamics that the player has within themselves, because that's what they're going to be talking to the most in their life, anyway is themselves, right.

Speaker 3: 20:40

So you want to say nice things to yourself. But also as a parent, recognizing, how can I best support my child? Because that's why we're all here. We want the best for our child. And if our child recognizes that not only are they going through the program, but their parent is going through the program too and they see their parent utilizing these tools in their own lives and with each other, it just transcends a game, a practice. And the third thing I can say is I think with Avery is I always tell her like both things can be true. You can be nervous for a game, but then you can also be prepared, and I think that's a huge thing that we learned in the program of you do have the tools and the nerves are not going to go away, but you are going to be able to manage it and you're going to be able to work through it.

Speaker 1: 21:33

So those are the biggest things. I love that you said that, yeah, the nerves aren't going anywhere. She's still going to feel it. One of my senior captains that I interviewed recently she said something similar. She was from this well, she's actually from all three of our state championship teams. She's like now. She graduated early, playing at Auburn now, before even her freshman year, and she was like now, because of this, like because of the training that I have, I can feel the pressure and not crumble is like what the athletes say, and so, like I can feel it, and it's not like I don't feel it. But now I see it differently. I don't have to crumble, I see it as something that's actually useful. So, yeah, that's great.

Speaker 4: 22:13

Okay, actually useful. So, yeah, that's great. Okay, shay, your turn. So the tools, the tools are almost instant. I think in the first lesson the kids started to walk away with something, a little tidbit they can take with them.

Speaker 4: 22:18

The grounding was a big one for my daughter. You remember I told you she was like sick to her stomach during tryouts because she was just that nervous, whereas you taught her the tools of being grounded. You know like what, what do you smell? You know we go through all of that and we bring her down and you know what do you have control over? That's all we're focusing on. If you don't have any control over, we're not going to worry about it. But just those little tools just keeps her. And I always tell her, I say, when I say, get out your head, stay in your body. It's something that I say to her like girl, get out, stay in your body. Like, just stay focused on you right here, right now, and stop making up all these other things that you're coming up with. And it just helped tremendously because I could see her go into her tryout after the high school. She was the club tryout and she went in full confidence and she was nervous but she wasn't sick, she wasn't, you know, feeling bad about it. She went out there and she did her thing and she came out. Like you know, I left it all on the court and I'm like that's my girl, so that's definitely one For my son. That snapback was everything Like I see him on that field getting yelled at by the coach and when I used to watch him just completely disintegrate and just completely shut down. I've watched him do his snapback and I'm such a proud mom on the sideline Cause I saw him grab his face mask. I saw him breathe, shook his head and then went back, stood on that sideline the coach put him right back in, whereas the coach would let him just stay out because he completely just not giving him what he wants. So watching my kids get more game time because they're mentally giving their team what the team needs from them was one of some of the best things.

Speaker 4: 23:45

Now the third one I don't know if you're ready for me to go into it was the alter ego. Like both of my kids have created alter egos for when they hit the court, and for us that's one of the biggest changes we've made from this program. It's just my daughter. Her alter ego is. Her name is White Whistle, but it's like she has a wristband that she'll put on and when she hits the court I see her snap it and then the whole person that she is literally transforms like this person doesn't smile, she ain't giggly, she's focused, she's on court and she's fierce and I love that little character. But when she gets off the court she takes her bracelet off and she's back to yee ha ha and all that jazz.

Speaker 4: 24:22

So watching her have that, uh, two-sided allows her to be this powerhouse when she needs to be and want to kill everything on the other side of the court and then comes off and gets to still be that bubbly, giggly, wants to play with everybody, wants to have friends with everybody.

Speaker 4: 24:38

You know she gets to be both people and they're separate and it helps in a sense of if she has a bad game or a rough time or someone says something about a gameplay that she was involved in, she's like they're talking about White Whistle, they're not talking about me, and so she's able to separate those two entities and so when we talk about her game post game, the way we're supposed to talk in the lesson, you know, she's like okay, you know, yeah, white Whistle did this and White Whistle was bad. You know, white Whistle missed that thing and so it's just like she's talking no longer about herself. I guess at the time because she's talking about White Whistle, who's another person who you know is on the court, and it just it helps, it helped open her up, it helps her talk to me without getting so like you're talking bad about me kind of thing. She doesn't get defensive anymore and it allows us to just have a real smooth conversation and that's one of the biggest takeaways from EMG for sure.

Speaker 1: 25:33

Yeah, yeah, I love that Cause, you're right, it does it actually, it separates, so she's not taking things personally and she can talk about that almost like, yeah, like well, not almost in a third person for sure, and I love that. You, when you were talking about that on one of the other panels that we have and we describe it this way too that, like an alter ego, is something that a lot of people have, like you were saying like Sasha Fierce, you know, like Clark Kent, and yeah, oh, it's like it's a thing that helps you kind of step into who you want to be without being like changing. I'm going to change my whole personality. Yeah, yeah, so cool, so tangible too, okay, april how about you?

Speaker 5: 26:17

What's been? What's been useful? So I would say what's been most useful for jazz has been the snapback, because you know whenever you mess up or you feel like you messed up right, so whether you didn't make that shot or you have a turnover or something like that, the snapback routine has been really, really helpful for her so that she doesn't get into her head too much about and she's able to just move on to like the next play. I mean I've seen a difference, because it used to be like, hey, you know she would mess up something and you could see it on her face and everything, and I mean like pretty much she was kind of out of it. Now it's just like whatever, and then I'll run down on the other side and get a steal, you know. So she just make a ford on the other side and get a steal, you know. So she just make a forward on the other side, right. And another thing has been visualization, so like seeing herself, you know, doing it beforehand, so getting that rebound or taking that shot, and what does it feel like and what's going on at the time. So that has helped her a lot as well.

Speaker 5: 27:05

And then, like Shay said the alter ego. I feel like the alter ego is kind of fun because it's like, if I can be in the, you know what I mean Like what would I be? Like who would it be? And it's funny because I think when she first started out, when she goes to practice, her alter ego is Lightning McQueen, and so you know, she'll go up to somebody and be like I'm Lightning McQueen, ka-chow, you know what I mean. So she's.

Speaker 5: 27:26

And then she's like cause, you know, she's very fast. So you know, then she's out there and she's kind of speeding around everybody and whatnot, getting the steals and everything. And now which is not comparison but there's a girl on her team and her name is Jade and Jade is a senior, and so when she goes out there, you know, she's just like, hey, I want to go out there. And like, cause, jade is everywhere. Okay, she's definitely laying it all out everywhere. And so going out there and using that same speed, because when they're out there at practice, like she's faster than Jade, you know. So guess what, you can be better than Jade, you know what I mean. So she'll go out there and pretty much lay it all out there. You know what I mean Go all in. You know body everywhere, shots and and whatnot. So those kinds of things have helped her, but I really think it's the visualization and the snapback that has helped her the most with the program. They've helped a lot.

Speaker 1: 28:19

Yeah, that's awesome. I mean, all of you are mentioning really like tangible things that athletes can use. It's not just like okay, we're going to talk about confidence or talk about like, just use positive words. You know. It's like okay, these are real things that that athletes use.

Speaker 5: 28:35

I just thought about one, I'm sorry, the focusing on the controllables, right, Because obviously I can't control if my shot actually goes in and I can't control that. But focusing on the controllables, being a good teammate, hustling you know, having a good attitude, the things that she can control, those helped her a lot.

Speaker 1: 28:47

Focusing on that, not focusing on things I can make happen or not yeah, yeah, that's such like an important life skill too, and you probably like tell your daughter's this all the time, but then it wouldn't. It's like, oh, I hear it from somebody else and they're like, oh yeah, what you were talking about, mom, like, or have you heard of this mom? And you're like I've seriously been trying to tell you that for like years, but yeah, it's just the approach, you know, okay. Another very logistical question that I'm getting is like how did you introduce this whole idea to your daughter? Because obviously you're seeing things and you're like, okay, this would really help. And then it did help. But there's kind of a bridge there for some that are trying to like talk to their daughters about it without telling them or making it come across like something's wrong with them or they need to work on their confidence. So, yeah, kim, how did you bring it up?

Speaker 2: 29:36

I felt like we got here out of a place of almost desperation, so there wasn't a ton of having to approach Lila, persuade Lila, that type of thing. She had taken a step in working with a sports psychologist, so she was kind of already familiar with like mental stuff, so for us it wasn't very difficult. What I did just have to get the buy-in on was that she was going to commit the time and how this was going to look for both of us, how we wanted to like approach the program together, whether we were going to do our sessions together separately, like how that was going to look. So we spent more time kind of talking about how that was going to look, versus me trying to say I found this, I think this would be great. I showed her a few things and she was already like, if this is going to help me, I want to try.

Speaker 1: 30:25

So yeah, yeah, that's great. I will say on that. You know, lila's at an age where some of the athletes her age are just kind of doing their own side and then parents are doing their own side and there's kind of some touch points where they come together or you can do it side by side. Like you know, some moms and daughters or dads and daughters are like going to a coffee shop on the weekend. I'd be like, hey, we're going to just do this for 30 minutes and then the athletes that are younger we actually recommend moms and athletes are doing it a lot more closely together so that they can ensure their tracking. So yeah, there's kind of some different routes you can go. Brandy, how did you bring it up? Or I guess your husband.

Speaker 3: 31:03

Yeah. So he brought it to me and had me look at it and I was saying I was just like whatever can help this hormonal child yes, yes, please.

Speaker 3: 31:14

And he brought it to me. I said yes, and then I was talking about it with Avery and I said, you know, it's not just going to be like I said before, it's not just going to be you. I have my side that I'm doing too. And then I asked her do you want to do it together? Do you want to do it separately?

Speaker 3: 31:28

And I think, because this generation is so used to doing things, she was very used to being like, oh well, when I do my homework, then I'm going to do. You know, then I'm going to do some modules with Coach Bree. And I was like, yeah, sure, and then when we're in the car together, driving to or from practice, or if there's a downtime, I would just bring it up like, oh, you know, like guess what I learned with Coach Brie this week? Like this is my word, or this is my snapback, or this is, you know, the thing that I was thinking about like what are you working on? And I just it would be very much a casual conversation, because I didn't want her to make it, I didn't want her to feel like, like you were saying before, like there's nothing wrong with you, abe.

Speaker 3: 32:13

There's nothing wrong with me. We're just trying to be the best versions of ourselves. And if this is what I need to do to be a better version of myself for my family and you can be a better version of yourself for yourself and your team and your community, then why not? It's not going to hurt. So it didn't take much to have her buy in, because once she started she had a lot of fun. She was like oh yeah, and then she loved the meetings on Sunday nights and you know, listening to other kids her age.

Speaker 3: 32:36

So yeah, it wasn't. Once she got into it she was just like and yep, we're here.

Speaker 1: 32:40

So yeah, okay, Okay, cool, shay, how about you guys Force no.

Speaker 4: 32:46

I'm worried, you know, for me my kids aren't very, they don't fight back too much. So when I told my daughter, you know, hey, I found this program, I kind of showed her a little bit on my computer what I was talking about and she was just like okay, and that was the end of that. So she was enrolled and that was no problem. My son, on the other hand, that was a little bit more of force per se Because it was kind of like that ain't for me, that's for girls, I'm like no, but boys you might be the only boy Just keep your camera off during the meetings If you don't want to put it on. You know, he was a little bit more persuasive because it's really it's not marketed for him. But I told him, you know, I really think this will help you. But with my son it was more or less like first it Cause I said so and he was doing it, and then he started, you know, using some of the things. But what I started actually doing on my end was I would leave like little things that I do that I know he has to do on it. So like I like act, like I'm really frustrated, I'm like you know what. Let me just snap back in myself together and I like do something. And you know he's watching me like what is she doing? But he recognized what I was doing because he learned it on his end.

Speaker 4: 33:52

Or if I make a wrong, I think one time me and my husband purposely made a wrong turn and they were just like you know what Mistakes happen, we'll get back on the right track. You know, because we were like trying to just drop little tools Like we're doing it. You know, we're mentally strong, you can do it too. And I started to kind of see that light bulb go off like okay, mistake's not that bad, it's not a big deal. Just, you know they didn't act crazy, they didn't have an argument about that making wrong turn, we just make the right turn next time and stuff like that. And eventually he just does it.

Speaker 4: 34:19

Now I don't have to say anything about it. Both kids are flowing through the program. I did let it be self-led. I'm, you know. I just say, hey, have you did EMG? They say, yeah, my kids have a calendar anyway of what they're going to commit to for the week and each kid put EMG on there anyway. So I know it's being done. I really don't say much about it, but I just do little things on my side that make it. Show them, you know, leave by example. Me too. I'm mentally strong too, so you can do like mom and get your life together, kind of thing. So that's, that's kind of what we do. But, daughter, simple son persuasion per se.

Speaker 1: 34:54

I love that. I mean there's actually more and more boys that are in the program. Like you said, we don't necessarily market. It is like there's it's feminine because of the female author imagery. But yeah, there's boys and in fact my husband is a football coach and we've it's on our radar to do like, okay, all boys that are in the program, you'll meet with him, like it's on our radar. So just because it's growing and growing on the boy side, yeah, I mean they.

Speaker 4: 35:19

I think it works for dads, daughters, mothers, sons. It works. It works for everyone. Your marketing is cute and I see where you're going with it, but throw anybody in there. I mean it works. I don't see what. There's really no difference in the message that gets across. So it works.

Speaker 1: 35:34

Yeah, cool, all right, april. Hey Bam April. How did you introduce it?

Speaker 5: 35:40

So for us, as far as Jasmine was concerned, I mean, like I said, physically she had, you know, all of the attributes, right, she's a natural athlete, and we've got the trainers, so literally you have all of the things. It's just that mental piece that's missing. And so really, it was just kind of going to her and being like, look, you have all of the tools, right, we have trainers, we have coaches, we have all of these things. My husband went out and bought you a shooting machine. You have everything that you need, but we need this mental part.

Speaker 5: 36:11

And I was like I sat there and I told her that. You know, I was sat in one of the trainings and it was amazing, you know, and just the mental side of life, just imagine if you had everything, all of the tools. And so I sat there and I told her about. I was like, you know, this is the one thing that you're missing. You got everything else, you just need this one thing. And then just imagine if you can have practice and not have a meltdown. You could play in a game and feel confident. You know what I mean. And so she was like, okay, you know what I mean.

Speaker 5: 36:37

It wasn't because she knew that that was something that she really needed. So it wasn't really hard to convince her to do it. And I think when you do like even a first lesson, you're just like, oh yeah, I can see that you know what I mean. So you know, you definitely see the changes and you see that it's possible. It's not like you know hard things that you have to do, and the fact that it really doesn't take a lot of time, you know, is a plus as far as kids are concerned, like, oh, I can get that done. So I mean for us that's kind of how I went with it, just letting her know that she has everything.

Speaker 1: 37:15

This is just a one piece that you need you know what I mean To be able to do what it is she wanted to do, and that she was on board. Yeah, that's great. Yeah, I like that you brought up the time piece of it too. So we, the trainings are between like three minutes and 18 minutes is, I think, is the longest one. So we make them short so that they're not sitting there for a long period of time and it ended up. Sometimes they end up actually do it, cause they're like, oh, I did a three minute one and a six minute one and then another three, and then it's like, oh, I've been here for 35 minutes.

Speaker 1: 37:34

But yeah, we, we do that intentionally so that they move through it quickly and they have a training plan. Actually, I don't know, since you all have have graduated, we've created a training plan to make it really simple, like, hey, this week do these lessons, this week do this, and so that they can get through it in a manageable way. But yeah, okay, I have two like main questions left that I want to ask you at all, and then anyone that has any questions in the chat just go ahead and put those in. So the one that I get asked a lot and actually this was directed in this here is how long did it take for you to start seeing results Like how fast was it? That's my first one, so we'll go there, kim. How fast was it for Lila?

Speaker 2: 38:13

Gosh, I feel like, depending on which of those tool sets that we've just kind of shared about, some of them were so quick, I mean you can expect to see results if they're willing to learn about it and put it right into practice within a week, within a few days, just how quickly they're willing to dive in and make those changes for themselves. So you know, and we have been, we've been part of the program for a couple years now, as I mentioned, and Lila has dove back into the content, because we do have live access to the content for a lifetime. Has dove back in when she's come up with other scenarios as she continues down her journey. So, as quickly as a week, to you know, a few days, and for as long as we've been members, she's interacted with the content and continue to learn and grow and utilize the tools and strategies.

Speaker 1: 38:59

So yeah, cool, love that.

Speaker 3: 39:02

Okay, brandy, I think for Abe it took, I feel like it took a little. It took a little while. She was like a slow burn. I guess you'd say she's very stubborn, very stubborn. But once she like, it was just like more of the consistency from my part and even utilizing some of the things that we learned off the court, I think truly was the thing. That was just like got it because I didn't play basketball. She knows that I'm not good at basketball and that's like her love. So she's like what could my mom possibly help me? Right. Like what could I possibly know about anything in life? Right. So.

Speaker 3: 39:41

But when I was utilizing these things in every day to say like okay, well, okay, well, you didn't get the grade that you wanted on that test, okay, moving on, you know what you need to do next time. Snap back, moving on, right. Like the tools that coach brie and team is teaching you is not just for the court but it's for everything else, right. Or even utilizing things when you get upset with your sisters snap back, we're moving on right. So once she realized that it's not just about your mentality on the court and during practice, it's about your overall like when you wake up each day, like it's a choice Right, are you going to choose to utilize these tools that help you grow? Help you grow and like I think I told you this before I tell her all the time I have never done this 40 year old life before, just like you have never done this 13 year old life before. We are both still learning and I'm continually trying to grow myself. I just want the same for you.

Speaker 3: 40:43

I don't have all the answers. You don't have all the answers let's have. Let's both have, not all the answers together and we'll figure this out. So when you like really relate it to that way, she was just like OK, this is a program for not just me, but for me and my mom and my dad, and then my sisters will learn what I'm doing too, even though they're little and they annoy me. Maybe like I can teach them something. Yeah, but it was a little bit of a slow burn, but I would say like a good. Like month, month and a half into the program. She like was like okay, and I started to see things, and I think at the same time her basketball season was starting to. So then I really started to see, like okay, you're utilizing some of these things I practice too.

Speaker 1: 41:29

Yeah, yeah, that's good, I think, yeah, there's moms in the, or at least Amy is like, yeah, my daughter's pretty stubborn too. So, yeah, we've got all sorts. So, yeah, shay, how fast was it? How fast did you start to see results?

Speaker 4: 41:41

My son instantly. He was instant because I had tried it. So I went to your webinar and it was like the kind of like hey, the end of this, do this, you know, and I did it. But while I, while you were going through, you were taught some of these quick tools and I mentioned it to my son. I'm trying to explain to him the snapback but, of course, coming from me, I'm not saying it right. He's looking at me like, OK, mom, stop.

Speaker 4: 42:03

So we go to one game and I'm trying to explain it to him and he's looking at me Like just lady, okay, I got my word, whatever, leave me alone. Then he went and played, did his normal breakdown. So when, once we got enrolled, I actually played the whole. First I think it's like four lessons, the whole snapback Cause you break it up. We played the whole thing on the way to football. We sat in the car and finished the whole lesson and then it was just like aha, cause someone other than mom said it, so now it must be like legit. So I saw him do it on the court that day and I was just like you're not gonna be perfect at it right away, but you know, just give it a go. And that was the one game that I saw him shake it off, get back. He stood next to his coach. Coach put him right back in and I was just like see, and that's when it was like clicking, like oh, she might be on the side. So for my son it was right away.

Speaker 4: 42:46

My daughter she was between, so she wasn't really doing nothing where I could see it being applied. But when it was time to see it being applied, she wowed me like she didn't break down. She, you know she stood up to it and she was, you know her mental game was there. I could throw little words at her. She understood what it was, because what you're teaching and what I'm learning I'm using the same verbiage and you know what I'm saying makes sense because she's hearing it already from you and your lessons. So it took me a while to see my daughters, but I know, with her being more mature, anyway, I know she was taking it in it's. Just I couldn't see it until it was time for it to display itself, where I would have expected a breakdown. She was mentally in the game.

Speaker 1: 43:23

So yeah, oh, that's such a relief too. Like okay, the breakdown's coming.

Speaker 4: 43:26

Like oh maybe not here we go. Then she's looking at me like, OK, that's so awesome.

Speaker 1: 43:33

All right, April. What was your experience with that?

Speaker 5: 43:35

How fast I would say it probably was in the first maybe three weeks or so, because a lot of her practices at the time were her coach yelling at her. You know, tell her you can leave. You know, that's like. His favorite thing is to be like you can leave. You know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and it was one of those hard coaches that you talk about. You know that present it's just oh yeah she'll probably come back.

Speaker 1: 44:05

That's what happened last time she just dropped and came back. So I'll let her finish that story when April reconnects again. But my last question that I have that I hear a lot from moms and maybe something it is something that makes our program different, so I do want to hear about it is how has this changed your relationship with your daughter? Like, how is it now? You know we didn't really get into like pregame stuff, postgame stuff, all of that, but what for you? Or has it changed your relationship with your daughter?

Speaker 2: 44:31

so, um, kim, I'll start with you yeah, I think a couple different changes, because I have been Lila's coach through a lot of her younger years too. So her just getting older and wiser in her own sport and me being able to kind of fall back into just that parental role has been a change and I think ultimately Lila just now looks to me as the mom, like she wants me to sit in the spot that I sit in at the gym, like I didn't realize. But she said she always looks to find me during warm ups. It just settles her down. So things like that and the majority of where we are with her and her journey yet again she's a junior in high school that wants to pursue collegiate sports is just really letting her drive a lot of the decision making, a lot of the conversation starting.

Speaker 2: 45:22

I think that was a big change. It is hard for me because I did have athletic background too, because I want to get in there and see what she thought and what did the coach say and all those things. But those roles and those lanes that you go over in the program really kind of smacked me in the face too and I said I, you know, sometimes I got to even smack myself in the face to just say, okay, we're momming here. So I think that's just been a big difference. And so then what I'll find is she'll be a little bit more forthcoming, knowing that I am just going to be mom in this conversation and not critique and suggest and that type of thing. So that's been a really great part of this whole journey for us through the program with her.

Speaker 1: 46:02

Yeah, oh, that's so great and it's a relief to like on the mom's side, like, okay, I don't have to fill all of these other roles as well. Yeah, april, I'm going to circle back to you to hear about the coach that says you can leave, because I do want to hear the end of that story. And then we're sharing, like how has this, you know, changed or has it changed your relationship with your daughter?

Speaker 5: 46:21

I am sorry. I don't know why our internet is having this moment. I was telling Bri I'm doing my own snapback routine today.

Speaker 1: 46:27

Okay.

Speaker 5: 46:30

But no. So what I was able to see during practice is that, even though he's yelling at her and you know, tell her she can leave and whatever you can go, blah, blah, blah. You know, I can see in her face that, where normally she would just break down, like I can see her start to do the breathing, you know like. So she's doing the breathing and I can see, like in her face that she's trying to like calm herself down and, you know, doing the routine and telling herself. You know what she usually says to herself during her routine. So I mean, it definitely was better, you know, than it usually would be, and he'd be like you can go over there, go sit down until you can get it together. But she didn't have to go sit down, she was able to compose herself despite that.

Speaker 5: 47:11

And it's so funny because now when she goes to practice, like it's almost like she's a star pupil right, like he doesn't yell at her, he yells at everyone but her, you know, because he's at a point where, like he doesn't have to yell at personally anymore. It's almost to a point where it's like a, like a joke that we have between us and this program, honestly, has made us best friends. She will tell everybody my mom is my best friend, you know. And so, like literally all day long, it has brought us so much closer because us trying to be her coach was actually pushing her away. And so now that we're not doing that and we know, like, okay, I know what helps her before and I know what helps her after, and so now that I'm able to navigate that as far as the conversations and whatnot, I mean it has brought us closer together because you know we're not having those same like hey, make sure you do this and you need to do this, and you know all of those things and you should have done this.

Speaker 5: 48:10

So you know what I mean, because it's not like that we just focus on what is controllable, right, you know, were you a good teammate? Were you hustling? Were you doing this? Ok, awesome, and you know, and just reassuring her, like Brandy and everyone else said, you know when we're done and it's like, okay, I understand how you feel. You know, I totally get that. So reassuring her that her emotions and how she feels is important, but also highlighting the, the things that you did. So it's it honestly has been great. We literally are kind of best friends, you know, we can laugh and stuff and it's so funny after a game she's just like come on, you know, and then go eat somewhere, because that's our routine. Afterwards we always eat, no matter what. So, yeah, it's been a great. It's been really really good, really good.

Speaker 1: 48:56

You don't withhold food anymore from her when she loses.

Speaker 5: 49:02

But we were always feeding her. But now it's like we make sure that like the routine. And it's so funny because the routine is we are eating. So it just like, and my husband's just looking, I'm like that's the routine. Right, the routine is that we're eating after I. You know, that's what we agreed on, so yeah yeah, gonna go wherever she wants to eat afterwards. So it's been. It's been really really good. I'm glad we did it. I wish I would have found you a long time ago you know, know, so yeah.

Speaker 1: 49:28

Oh, I'm so glad you found us when you did. Brandy, how have things changed with you and Avery?

Speaker 3: 49:34

Yeah, so much of what April and Kim have said as well. I mean, I feel like this program has transcended sports altogether and you know what we were struggling with and what a lot of people have said, a lot of the other parents have said, is that when you're trying to do so much because you want the best for your kid, and then you recognize like maybe it's not best coming from me, maybe I need to go find somebody else. Like April said, I got trainers, I got people to stretch some people, to train them. I got coaches. Why am I also trying to do mental training with them? Like and it's not to say that you know like I have my own like mental things that I could do for myself, but I'm also mom, and so when my child looks at me, they're not looking at me as a mental trainer to help them you know, get through all these boulders. No, they're looking at like mom, help me please, right. And so to finding you and finding your program has really what I think of it as like it's just lower at the temperature in the household, where I'm able to breathe a little deeper, she's able to breathe a little deeper, everybody's able to, just like it's going to be fine, right, because it's all going to be fine at the end. But when you're in the middle of it, you're like, oh right, like all of the temperature's really high and we are both now able to have conversations with one another without the temperature getting high, where I very much take a breath and let her lead instead of me trying to lead her. And, yeah, I'm the parent and I have to help guide her. But this is her journey and I have to listen to where she wants to go, right, even if I think that she has all the ability to be X, y and Z.

Speaker 3: 51:26

This program has taught me that I am best served being in mom role and that I can do to help support her. Were not the things that I thought were needed, like the things that I learned. I learned just as much in this program about how to best support my child. I feel like I probably learned more than her, right, you know, because then I can also then, you know, teach my younger two and she can teach the younger two, right, because they look up to their big sister like she's, you know, the coolest thing ever.

Speaker 3: 52:05

And then the things that I learned that I then tell Bam where I'm like, look, when you go to practice, you don't say anything about how she's shooting. You say, I have so much fun watching you. And I told him that and I was like, just try it, just try it. And he came home. He was like that was magical. And I was like I told you, I was like we're supposed to use certain words. Okay, we're. We're not supposed to be like what society tells us. We're not supposed to be nuts, we're supposed to be calm and we're supposed to be quiet and we're supposed to leave them and we're supposed to just, you know. So, yeah, I think, more than anything, it's lowered the temperature and it's lots of Zen vibes in the house now.

Speaker 1: 52:46

So yeah, that's awesome. And, however, though, if you are the hype mom, we want you to embrace your hypness. You know, but you know some of us aren't.

Speaker 3: 52:58

I definitely am. I love all things cheer. I love to cheer all sports, all the things you know it's coming from a place of. I am not supposed to be coaching you on the other side of the courts or the field, right, you're like cheering and supportive on the other side. That's what. That is the role that I needed at right now. I'm not supposed to be telling you what to do so yeah, that's good.

Speaker 1: 53:24

Yes, I love that. It reminds me of parents, like when I do any sort of like parenting courses or books or anything, and I'm like trying to change my kids' behavior, although in this program they learn skills too, but it's like, oh, it's all about me, huh, okay, yeah. So, shay, I'll wrap up with you how has this changed, or hasn't changed, with Mila Major?

Speaker 4: 53:44

Like the other mom said, it just put me in my place. Really I was the one that was the issue. You know, I'm telling my kids what they should do and literally had never played football or volleyball, and I'm telling them no, you need to get down, like this. And it's literally just me looking at a coach saying and then I'm re-saying it you know, don't know anything about anything. So they're looking at me like ma, you ran track, like stop. So it literally put me in my place and my husband as well, because then they were getting conflicting information. Like I'll say go have fun. And he say you better do X, y and Z. So we're over here just ruining our kids and they're looking at us like this, like which, is it have fun or kills the person? You know, like what are we supposed to be doing? So the program basically relieved us of all those duties and told us to sit down and cheer. So we literally let them run it.

Speaker 4: 54:33

Even if I take my daughter out to the volleyball court, and it's just me and her, I'll say what role you want me to play? Do you want me to just be mom or do you want me to be a coach, a fake coach and she's just like you know. Sometimes you're like, just be mom. Or sometimes she's like, all right, you could do, you could be a fake coach. And she's just like you know. Sometimes she's like just be mom. Or sometimes she's like, all right, you could do, you could be a fake coach. And then, you know, that allows me to kind of be a little aggressive. Give me some hustle, give me this and I could do all that. But if she just wants me to be mom, I'm just throwing the ball up and she could give me the stupidest hit and I'm just like, okay, that was great, you know it's so.

Speaker 4: 55:02

It really just allowed me to find where I stand and let them control where I stand. If they want me to be that person, I could be that person. If they don't want that, then I could just be mom and cheer on the sideline. Now my son did say don't cheer so loud, which I don't think is fair, but anyway, he's telling me I could be mom. So I'm going to cheer on the sideline as mom and it helped that too. So it really just. But anything else, it allows us to release all those extra pressures that we were putting on ourselves to try to push our kids, let them lead their journey. We're just there to support it and where they want us to support it at, and that's just how it works. So the relationship is great. Because they tell me no, mom, and I'm like, oh okay, you know, I'm sitting here with my pom pompom and I just sit down. So it's helpful, super helpful.

Speaker 1: 55:51

Oh, that's great. I want to come to some of your all of your games, and just it sounds like it's fun. I dance.

Speaker 4: 55:57

I do everything. So, yeah, that's what they want me at.

Speaker 1: 56:00

I can do that easy yeah yeah, oh well, this is so great. There was a question from Deb and Shay answered it, which was awesome. And Deb, I will say in the beginning it was a question about the snapback routine, like she's learning it, and she said she doesn't need to use it in a game. She's not really getting upset or anything. She doesn't need it. That's fine. But when she's first learning we recommend that they use it.

Speaker 1: 56:19

Even okay, like you can recommend, like yeah, if you miss a shot, maybe you could try it, but they're probably not going to be prompted to use it if they're not like feeling like they need it. You know cause they're in the flow. So it's not like they really. It's really a strategy for when they start to get out of the flow, the thing I tell athletes. So it was like you're not going to be able to like never use it and then use it in the championship game when it's game point, and that probably won't work. Like we got to build up and use it in lower stakes environments. Yeah, cool, all right. Well, this has been amazing. Thank you, kim, brandy, april and Shay. I really just am so grateful that you're generous with your time to share with the other moms who are jumping in and yeah, I just can't thank you enough. Is there any other last minute things that I failed to bring up, or anything you want to say? No, bring it on the fence.

Speaker 2: 57:13

Just do it, you won't regret it. Amazing.

Speaker 4: 57:16

Yeah, yeah, gotta train their brain and their body. So don't leave the brain out. It's an important tool, agreed, yeah, I agree too.

Speaker 1: 57:25

I agree too. I was like, yes, all right, well, brandy, I'll let you go catch a flight, and yeah.

Speaker 4: 57:30

All right.

Speaker 1: 57:30

See you all later. Bye everyone, Thank you.